Happy Valentine’s Day 2016

Hello from me to you

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Happy Valentine’s Day everyone whether you have someone special or are single everyone deserves to enjoy the day. As for me, I planned on a pj day of doing nothing and sitting on the sofa, and perhaps reading. Instead I woke up at 10am after 12 hours of sleep, made pnackes from a ready-mix box, went for a walk, cleaned the house, did three loads of washing, fixed the lock on the gate and took the rubbish out, oh and cooked a Sunday lunch, mince and gravy, veg and yorkshire puddings.

On tv this afternoon the famous BBC Pride and Prejudice has been on and in between watching that and pottering about I have had an amazing day. I actually feel quite good about things. I’ve not felt like this in a long time. Perhaps it’s because i cleared the air with someone yesterday, or had natural vitamin d on…

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365 Day Blog challenge Day 45 part 2: Valentine’s Day #365daychallenge

Happy Valentine’s Day! Whether you’re lucky enough to have someone or have just met someone or more importantly you’re single and loving life and are you own valentine make sure you celebrate, and don’t forget to celebrate the rest of the year to.

The origins of Valentine’s Day can be found here

 

‘You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn’t true. I know a lot about love. I’ve seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate… It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But when I see the way that mankind loves… You could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful. So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange – no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.’

Yvaine:   from Stardust (film)

 

Roses are red violets are blue, brown is the color of elephant poo.

And thank you to the internet for a fabulous source of information.

Thank you for reading

xxx

365 Day Blog challenge Day 45: 31 Days of Self-Love: Day 14 #365daychallenge

What would your younger self be proud of you for today?

*For getting through University, school told me I wouldn’t get far and I managed to do it but looking back on it, part of me wish I hadn’t done it as I struggled and didn’t feel like I fitted, I also wish I had gone abroad when I had the chance and I wish I had sought help with depression etc. But it was the choice I made at the time and it seemed right and now I have letters after my name and I’ve come to love a city I’ve lived in for nearly half my life.

*For trying to sort my health even when at times just wanted to hide away from everyone.

*For running  a house on my own.

*Getting back in touch with family.

*For running/managing a business for 8 years (not mine)

*For sticking to running and getting an amazing time in the Great North Run, I still can’t believe after watching it for years on TV I actually did it.

*Volunteering at parkrun

*For passing my driving test first time or simply just for taking lessons.

*For always wanting to learn new things and wanting to learn to write which lead to the local radio station and recording and editing shows. So proud of that.

*For going to book club, not knowing anyone and eventually running a few meetings.

Thank you for reading

xxx

365 Day Blog challenge Day 44: 31 Days of Self-Love: Day 13 #365daychallenge

Take a selfie just as you are. Find one thing you love about it.

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Only thingt I can think of is my hair. I’ve loved having it short. I first just had straight fringe until someone said a side flick would be better. Best bit is if I want to style it it doesn’t take long.

Thank you for reading

xxx

World Mental Health Day- My story

Hello from me to you

World Mental Health Day, hosted by the World Federation of Mental Health, is on 10 October each year. To help mark the occasion, we’re raising awareness of what can be done to ensure that people with mental health problems can live with dignity.

The problem

One in four adults and one in ten children are likely to have a mental health problem in any given year. This can have a profound impact on the lives of tens of millions of people in the UK, and can affect their ability to sustain relationships, work, or just get through the day.

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns/world-mental-health-day

My story

11224775_1032042500171777_8473539967728240515_n How I feel 90% of the time

I’ve had depression or a form of it for as long as I remember, I’ve just never admitted it. I’ve grown up with a negative parent and carried that on through into my adult life. Now at 37 a few job…

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365 Day Blog challenge Day 43: 31 Days of Self-Love: Day 12 #365daychallenge

What things make you feel happy to be alive?

I’m not quite sure at the moment. Things have been a bit tough recently, but the one thing that pops in to my head is my support network. The last few years I’ve reconnected with family that I’ve not seen in years due to my Dad cutting us off from them, I don’t know the full truth but I was lead to believe it was over something really petty. Anyway that’s all done with and last year I got to do the Great North Run with two of my cousins and had an amazing time.

Also with living in Leeds away from my family, who are in county Durham and then I have Aunts, Uncles and cousins in Norfolk, I have a second family (friends that I’ve known for years) in Leeds and last year when I took ill they all came together to look after me and get me back on my feet.

I also love the fact that Leeds has so much to give and we have access to both the countryside and seaside by just hopping on a bus or train.

I just wish I could be happy with how my life has turned out. I was always lead to belive you had only made it in life if you had a career, a house, a husband and kids. I have the house and a job but sadly not the rest. So I’m not sure whether I’ve made it or not. But being single and having a great support group, makes me feel that I am loved even when I don’t love myself.

Thank you for reading

xxx

My week as @PeopleofLeeds

Find me on Twitter this week taking over an account all about Leeds

Hello from me to you

This is what it is about: http://peopleofleeds.blogspot.co.uk/

‘Who We Are

‘We are the People of Leeds. All kinds of people, from all over Leeds, coming together on one Twitter account. Based on the amazing @sweden Twitter account, we’re handing the reins of our Twitter account over to the people of Leeds. Each Monday a new person will take the account for a week, bringing you a unique snapshot of living, working and playing in Leeds.’
It started with a Tweet!
About a couple of months ago after talking about Twitter and doing things for the radio, I decided I wanted to do this. No idea why. so I got in touch with Kirsty who runs it and asked if I could do it. I think influentially it was to be late September but it had been popular and decided on Halloween week, not realising I had 12 days off two…

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Love and Light

I was introduced to Kirsty’s work last year and absolutely love it! If you have a Kindle you can get most works now!!

Rosethorn Ramblings

I’ve just realised I haven’t done a blog post since New Year. Eek! Happy 2018…

My excuse (not that I need one, as I’ve never been able to commit to a blog a week, or even a blog a month) is that I’ve been busy working on two new books. Taken together, the word count is something like 65,000, give or take. So that’s a good chunk of a full-length novel. But the words are split between two novellas: working titles are Watch for me at Christmastime and A Very Schubert Christmas. But these could, of course all change. If you’ve read any of my previous books, you might realise that Watch for me at Christmastime is linked to the Hartsford Mysteries series and A Very Schubert Christmas is part of what I’m fondly calling The Schubert Series, which begins with Every Witch Way. The two books are…

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365 Day Blog challenge Day 42: 31 Days of Self-Love: Day 11 #365daychallenge

How would you describe yourself in a loving manner to a stranger?

I literally have no idea. All I can think of is what I put in my personal statement for interviews. So, organised, Good with communicating with venues when I organised book clubs, helping others by volunteering especially at parkrun and seeing others achieving their goals whilst giving something back to parkrun for allowing me to get a timed 5k run amongst some fabulous people. I’m good at organising, budgeting at work but not in my on life, or what it seems to be. I have terrible money problems for as long as I remember but more so since living on ym own as it’s been a form of emotional spending. In the last few years I have tried using a spreadsheet to account for all the bills etc and yet I still end up completely broke at the end of each month, in fact by the time payday has come I get over excited and within a few days I have spent any spare cash I have. I’ve done again this month after being so careful over January. But hopefully I’m beginning to learn my lesson and I’ll slowly be able to start paying debts off as well saving  a little for ‘unexpected events’ or just to treat myself to a new book, some clothes or a take away coffee (something I don’t do as much now I don’t work in town).

I know one thing, I worry and overthink too much, I stress over little things and I don’t know how to relax, simply because I don’t believe I deserve to relax or to be liked or to enjoy things. Don’t get me wrong I get really excited if someone unexpectedly gives me a present or buys me a coffee, I love the simple things in life, but sometimes I just freak out at the attention given to me when I’m always looking out for others.

This year I decided to try be different and focus more on myself and so far I’m not doing a good job of it. I have changed my diet quite a bit, I have tried to cook from scratch, The other week though I bought a ready meal for the first time in ages as I fancied sweet and sour chicken and it was easier to pop to the shop and buy it rather than make it from scratch. I’ve since seen Saturday Morning with James Martin and seen a recipe on there which I hope to make myself at some point.

So as you can see I’ve totally avoided today’s challenge and haven;t come up with a clear answer to how to describe myself. Perhaps I’ll try again when the challenge is finished. Now I’m off for a coffee and biscuit.

Thank you for reading

xxx

365 Day Blog challenge Day 41: 31 Days of Self-Love: Day 10 #365daychallenge

How can you set better boundaries in your life?

This one is a tough one so I did a little research and picked out the best tips and thought I could come back to this at a later date.

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What boundaries are…and what they’re not

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  • Boundaries are limits. They are not threats or ultimatums.
  • Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.
  • Boundaries are firm lines – determined by you – which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect. Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical, or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.
  • Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration, that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a no trespassing sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are never about trying to change someone else’s actions or behaviors. link

“Check in with yourself if you are feeling tired, irritable, frustrated or put off,”

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Give yourself permission.

Fear, guilt and self-doubt are big potential pitfalls, Gionta said. We might fear the other person’s response if we set and enforce our boundaries. We might feel guilty by speaking up or saying no to a family member. Many believe that they should be able to cope with a situation or say yes because they’re a good daughter or son, even though they “feel drained or taken advantage of.” We might wonder if we even deserve to have boundaries in the first place.

Boundaries aren’t just a sign of a healthy relationship; they’re a sign of self-respect. So give yourself the permission to set boundaries and work to preserve them. link

Decide what your core values are.

This almost makes it sound like a business. So perhaps I should start treating myself as my own enterprise and run/treat myself as a business because if I don’t work no bills or anything will happen. link 

Consider your past and present.

How you were raised along with your role in your family can become additional obstacles in setting and preserving boundaries. If you held the role of caretaker, you learned to focus on others, letting yourself be drained emotionally or physically, Gionta said. Ignoring your own needs might have become the norm for you.

Also, think about the people you surround yourself with, she said. “Are the relationships reciprocal?” Is there a healthy give and take?

Beyond relationships, your environment might be unhealthy, too. For instance, if your workday is eight hours a day, but your co-workers stay at least 10 to 11, “there’s an implicit expectation to go above and beyond” at work, Gionta said. It can be challenging being the only one or one of a few trying to maintain healthy boundaries, she said. Again, this is where tuning into your feelings and needs and honoring them becomes critical.

Start small.

Like any new skill, assertively communicating your boundaries takes practice. Gionta suggested starting with a small boundary that isn’t threatening to you, and then incrementally increasing to more challenging boundaries. “Build upon your success, and [at first] try not to take on something that feels overwhelming.”

“Setting boundaries takes courage, practice and support,” Gionta said. And remember that it’s a skill you can master.

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There’s a lot to learn and I’m going to give it my best shot. I also thought I might challenge myself to learn a new language, possibly sign language and maybe speaking Italian. Watch this space.

Thank you for reading

xxx