I’ve already posted one blog for today but felt this carried on. Yesterday was blue monday and it wasn’t so much that it was a sad day it just brought a load of crap with it and quite frankly by the time I got home I had had enough. I had been sworn at when trying to keep the peace in a situation, then for staring in the wrong direction, someone quite clearly had a crisis of conscience. Then life stuff got in the way and I felt like giving up.
When I was younger (yes I’m thinking about the past again) we always had to deal with my father’s moods and there would be months on end when there was tension in the house because he had decided to sulk over something stupid. Anyway this got me into a habit of believing that when everything was good and going well something really bad was coming around the corner. Years ago when I left home I had managed to overcome this and just got on with life, but looking back I often see how I reacted to situations was because of this issue. I sometimes felt like I was owed by the world and then it would turn round and say no, don’t be so stupid.
I feel like I am going in circles again at the moment. I’m doing my best to create a life for myself with what I have but it feels like hurdles keep getting put in my way and again I’m beginning to wonder what I did wrong or what I need to do to put it right. The world is changing so much that we are slowly becoming robots. We no longer know how to communicate properly, we all believe our problems are worse than others or people tell you ‘to just get on with it‘. without realising we are all different and although we have the same equipment to use – arms legs brain etc, it somehow works completely different to everyone else and god forbid you should be different and not conform.
All I want to do, is live life, things aren’t what I thought they would be but I’m happy to work with what I have. But for some reason blocks have been put in my path and I really don’t know what to do anymore. Yes I do. I must remember to just breathe, ask for help and hope for the best. As that seems like all I can do right now along with singing the song below.
And remember …….
Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze It means no worries for the rest of your days It's our problem-free philosophy Hakuna Matata! Hakuna Matata? Yeah. It's our motto! What's a motto? Nothing. What's a-motto with you? Those two words will solve all your problems
To think this was 1994!!!!
Thank you for reading