I am Helen

My drawing of Chun Li. Bruno the dog -18 years old. an unexpected run. Banana cakes, veg off the market and netting on the garden to stop cats

 Wow, what a year so far. I’ve been like a bloody yo-yo. But it feels like everything is settling down. I’m still learning on my job, even though its coming up to 6 months there’s something to learn everyday. My main issue is the fact I’ve stepped down to take this role and it’s not been as easy as I thought but things are finally falling into place. I feel like I have a clear head. I have my moments and can’t remember a thing but I feel a lot lighter. I have less money but more time and soon even more time and less travel and fingers crossed more park runs. I’m so excited.

A few months back I stopped having ready meals and cooked from scratch with fresh veg from a local shop and meat from my local butchers. I’ve also started cooking banana pancakes and omelettes. I’m not a big egg fan. I can’t do boiled or scrambled eggs but for some reason I can do these and I love them. So quick and easy and I’ve noticed a big difference since changing the way I eat. I’ve been to the market today and bought some more fruit and veg. That’s one of the reasons for my move to Leeds was it’s fantastic market. It has changed a lot since I moved here but you can still get some amazing bargains. So now more smoothies, roasted veg, omelettes you name it I’m making it. I’m also tackling the washing up which always seemed to be a barrier for me. I could clean the house top to bottom but could never face the washing up until it was to late. Today I have been baking cooking and cleaning the kitchen and I think I washed up about 4 times. Go me!!!
Cue the famous song ……. http://vevo.ly/m5kflH

 Charles Xavier: The past: a new and uncertain world. A world of endless possibilities and infinite outcomes. Countless choices define our fate: each choice, each moment, a moment in the ripple of time. Enough ripple, and you change the tide… for the future is never truly set.

Have your head (screwed) on straight –

The same as get your shit together. Basically means calm down, don’t panic, or focus. Usually said if you are normally good at something, but aren’t able to do it well because your mind is preoccupied with something else, or you’re just tired.

On Tuesday I had a blood test to see where I am at with my vitamin D levels. What I learned was, that I am hopeless at giving blood and perhaps should have a nap afterwards. Instead I was feeling off and felt the need to go shopping. I haven’t had a proper shopping day in ages or a ‘me’ day and it felt right. Only problem was my left arm kept playing up. It continued yesterday when I went to pick up a cup at work and instead threw it in the bin.  My arm just wasn’t co-operating. A sign to slow down a bit maybe?

Today it seems a lot better. Which is good as I had plans. Then they changed and I am amazed at what I have achieved. Like I said I’ve been food shopping. Sorted the garden by adding a netting over the seedlings. There also seem to be wild poppies growing again. My garden is going to be such a mix this year.  I cooked an omelette for lunch. Went for a run and bought ingredients to make cakes. Hoovered the house from top to bottom. Oh and did 4 loads of washing and 4 loads of washing up. I also dyed my hair, drew a picture and cooked tea. Just need to sit down and have a rest at some point :D.

You are a Unicorn.

Despite what anyone else says.

You are one in 7.4 billion,

and that is a beautiful thing.

Quote taken from Here

I want to say I’m feeling ‘normal’ again but to be honest I don’t know what that is. All I know is that since coming off the pill I’ve felt a lot ‘lighter’. Granted 6 years on the pill, made me remember why I went on it, however it’s not as bad as it was. I just forgot how hormones can play silly beggars with you. Like today I tried paying for something with my Waterstones card, because it looks similar to one of my debit cards. I’ve started eating chocolate again when I gave it up weeks ago. I had to just cave in. I had to listen to my body or my hormones not sure which.

As for being ‘lighter’ I have lost a bit of weight, but it appears I may have suffered from a touch of PMT (bloating) and with the chocolate might have put it back on again. But we’ll see by the weekend when everything settles down. Unless it’s turned to muscle with all this exercise. Mostly walking, as I sometimes can’t face going for a run as my mind talks me out of it. But not today. A month until my first 10k and I managed just about a 4km. Saturday I’m starting later so hopefully a chance for park run, nip home for a shower and off to work.

And what I’ve learnt over the last few days can be summed up in the following quote:

Peter Quill:

Sometimes, the thing you’ve been looking for your whole life, is right there beside you all along.  

Guardian of the Galaxy 2

Like for instance my house. I’ve finally fallen in love with it and feel like this and Leeds is where I’m meant to be. As much as I’m a northern girl, Leeds is finally my home and I love it.

Thank you for reading



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