Today in Durham market place, while I was awaiting Mum & Jane outside the bank, a young woman came over and asked if I minded helping them with their campaign and tell her what was important to me.
I replied and said no, and that it might appear soppy.
I told her ‘family, friends and mental health’. In that order, I realise I should have said mental health first but that’s for another time. Her name was Naomi and when I said mental health, she quickly turned around and say I have too totally agree with you there, it’s so important’. I then explained briefly about the depression and vit D and how much affect it has had and she turned round and said ‘I fully understand about the depression, I had it a few years ago and does take a lot out of you’.
And it’s true. The amount of times I’ve had moments where I felt like I’ve ‘woken’ up to a situation is ridiculous. Like this past few weeks, I’ve not wanted to run or read a book. The fact I’ve managed to get myself tot he gym and do some sort of exercise and keep myslef motivated has been a miracle, well to me anyway. I said to Naomi how I felt silly that even the smallest tasks like washing up can seem daunting to me and then by the time I feel like doing it, it has piled up so high it’s a bigger task to deal with. The other day when I picked up my prescription of my Vitamin D and saw how many boxes were in the bag, it actually gave me a bit of a shock. I’ve already been on them for 6 months and thought nothing of it, and now to take them for another 3 before I’m tested again is a bit scary.
However the good news is, I have all this going on and I have a massive amount of support from various people that I feel slightly humbled and know that what ever happens in the next 6 months, everything will be ok, even if I’m not fully mended, as I think that’s where I’ve been going wrong. If you had asked me 10 years ago, what I would be doing in 2016 I would have said I would have a family,house,car good job and be very happy. If you had said to me ‘actually you’ll be living alone, have a great job, no car, great family and friends, have done a few 10ks, be running a book club and be organising book clubs, be skint all the time and the biggy….you’ll be dealing with depression and to top it off a vitamin d deficiency which makes you forgetful.’ I’d have probably turned round and said I don’t think I would survive that, that doesn’t sound like me.
And yet here I am, 2016 doing a 42 hour job, running a book club, about to embark on an amazing adventure of a Leeds 10k followed by the Great North Run. I’m starting to think someone’s watching over me and decided I needed a break. so thank you. I will grab this opportunity with both hands and hope to become a success when years ago some people said I would fail.
Thank you for reading