Monthly Archives: May 2016

6 weeks to go to Leeds 10k

‘6 weeks or 40 days until I do the Leeds 10k. EEKs hopefully first park run will be on 18th of June 13312674_1742501669330285_2329250878719312121_nand it’ll be a breeze. Good thing I joined a gym to.’

Doesn’t time fly! In the last week I’ve joined a gym, forgot how much I love using a treadmill, and realised how much more I can do if the weather is bad by going to the gym. I might just have to have a kit at work at all times from now on and then I can go when I’ve not planned to.

As for monies raised, after Mum and my sister gave me £20 in cash and a friend donated online I’m now up to £200. This has not been about how much money I can raise. It’s about honouring a friend, making people aware of the disease and most of all making a happier healthier, fitter me.

This vitamin D deficiency has effected me more than I thought. However, changing the diet, 80% healthy 20% bad is starting to show some results. Just need to sort out how I deal with stress and we’re sorted. It’s funny, I thought I could fall back into the running. I knew my body was a different shape and size, and given time I’d be able to adjust, but it’s the mental side, the chatter telling me I can’t do it, the memories of what happened around the lst set of 10ks which I know I haven’t dealt with as they resurface. Why do we do it to ourselves?

So with 6 weeks to go, either online or donations given to me I hope to raise awareness not just of Cystic Fibrosis but depression and loss to. I miss Carly everyday and wonder if she was here today, what would we be up to.

So if you wish to sponsor me now for the Leeds 10k go here

And I look forward to September and the Great North Run and see how much has changed.

Thank you for reading




How funny we are as humans.

Men can’t have long hair.

Women can’t have short hair.

Women wearing trousers

men wearing pink

We judge by looks and first impressions

oh she’s rude

oh he’s miserable

yet if we only knew

to take a moment and listen

we might find out an amazing secret

yet everyone is quick to judge

quick to put in to social groupings

nerds,geeks,posh,chavs,crazies etc etc etc

Quick to blame others

Not thinking that others could be dealing with dilemma

but everything is so instant

and lost in the moment

so lets change that moment

as we might be surprised.


Well I never

So I’m trying to make myself feel better, mentally and physically by getting back into exercise with the goal being the Leeds 10k. Not fussed on getting a PB just want to do it as a goal and raise awareness of Cystic Fibrosis.

Then over the weekend I put on FB about one day doing the Great North Run. A post popped up and i had a look. Not thinking I would get in, I filled out a form on Sunday and by Tuesday 2am (I was wide awake from insomnia) I got an email saying. Congratulations you’re in. EEKS


I think it’s an amazing opportunity. I mainly entered for the scenery and whether i walk/run it its an experience, and at the moment i definitely feel life is to short. So 2016 is about raising awareness of Cystic Fibrosis, remembering a good friend and getting fit and healthy.

Wish me Luck

You can sponsor me for the leeds 10k by following the link below. Every little but counts.

Find out more here: #thereasonIrun  

Thank you for reading


Me, myself and the vitamin D deficiency

Last week I enquired with the doctors to whether I needed another blood test or just ask for a repeat prescription as my current course is running out. I started back in December after finding out I lacked Vitamin D (lack of sunlight) because I kept forgetting things.  I was tested for several things, none of which I was aware of at the time. I just thought it was stress and the pill or antidepressants weren’t working anymore.  I was prescribed a vitamin D and calcium supplement to take for 3 months, when I returned I had another blood test and was put on a 6 month course.

I found out by accident, I don’t know if I was mean’t to know, that my score was 37 and had risen to 48 but should be 74. since then I found out it was 30, not 37. I’ve probably already said this in a blog, but my memory is slowly working but I still repeat myself a lot :D.

I also find that I can’t see things that are directly in front of me. The amount of th=imes I’ve lost my phone, only to find it sat on the table where I’ve left it. (black on black is even worse).

While at the Doctors, I got given this, it freaked me out more than anything, I saw the 65-year-old bit and thought, great I’m screwed, could be a pensioner before I know it. It’s true, I am worried this isn’t going to fix it self in the next 3 months, even though I’ve changed my diet and I’m now training for the Leeds 10k. What if I’ve done too much damage and it’s not repairable?

I mean, I know other factors come into and yes I do need to manage how I cope with stress, but if I feel like things are getting out of control, or the slightest thing goes wrong, I panic I’ve forgotten something and that just sets me off in a whirl and then I land with a thump.

I’ve even tried sorting out counselling, but every time I ring it, just rings out, yes I have the right number, I just think they’re either avoiding me or there’s more people in Leeds that need their help than me.

That’s why I think it’s important to set goals and to plan and have a routine, one that is flexible, because every time I plan to do something at present seems to get squashed by work or the weather. But as someone said the other day, I shouldn’t be so good at my job otherwise people wouldn’t be coming back. It’s crazy, I do feel like I may be a lot slower these days, but then others just seems to fly by.

As for running, I forgot how much I loved it. The sad thing is I have a lot of demons to fight with. The last time I ran I was going through some bad stuff and before that I was running with a close friend rasising money for another charity. So I’m finding the training a bit tough. On the plus side I have an amazing pair of trainers, just like the ones from my first ever 10k, but with added support. I feel like I’m bouncing along when running. I can’t wait to be able to do a full run without having breaks. It’s simply going to be amazing.

So in the meantime, I will keep my fingers crossed that slowly the memory will return and stay. The plus points being I feel amazing, even if I do have a few off days. I just hope people will let the past go like I am trying to. But most of all I must remember this is not an easy road back to full health as I hoped. The fact being it’s down to being inside my head and body and not visible, sometimes makes it harder to say I don’t feel great and that’s why I now know the importance of catching 5 mins away from eveyrthing onmce in a while, and breathe.


Thank you for reading


My sponsor page: TeamJackinMemoryofCarly


The EU IN/OUT debate – an unexpected family agreement.


If I was a political animal (which I am), I’d say I was a medium sized friendly llama. I am interested, and there are things I believe in deeply which I never tire of discussing, but I’m not a barking dog or anything aggressive. I’d choose a donkey, such patient and useful (suitably vegetarian) creatures, were it not for the connotations in the USA. If I lived over there, I’d be too far left to be a Democrat, although I’m right behind the man I’ve chosen to call Uncle Bernie (no actual relation, but it’s so nice to have another reference when people ask how to spell my surname. The Colonel from KFC has had his day).
I have just had a very enjoyable and animated Skype conversation with both of my parents about the EU referendum. Our politics are VERY different but they brought me up to speak up…

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One sunny Sunday morning

how things have changed

Hello from me to you

Well what a week. First I lose something that I love doing then I lose my job followed by all sorts of other things that make me feel like I’m back at school and my teacher telling me I’m not good enough and that I wouldn’t go far. I then go on to share something on Facebook without realising truly what offence it caused and all hell breaks loose. Silly stupid me.

Yesterday I decided to do something for me, and spent the whole day in and out of the house taking camera equipment around Leeds. I also went down the the bridge by the docks and put a few locks on with special messgaes. I would show you now but as we everything this week, my sd card reader broke and I can’t transfer the pictures across.

Yesterday I felt fine, I was buzzing completely happy, trying not to think about…

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62 Days and counting #Leeds10k -my running hero

Today was the Leeds Half Marathon. One of my closet friend’s was running it. I was going to see her come in at the end and she had told me what time she expected to arrive. But something this morning made me want to see her set off and I walked into town. I got there with minutes to spare and saw her set off. I was chuffed to bits. She didn’t see me but it made me feel so proud and happy, not just for her but for me to have a little faith in myself.

Caroline is one of the reasons I wanted to get back into running. A couple of years back while working at the university I started to visit Park Run held at Hyde Park (Leeds). I belive it’s called Woodhouse Park run. I started taking photographs of people running then became involved in volunteering. Volunteers are just as important as runners in any race that happens.  I’ve gone off track. After visiting the Parkruns and going for coffee with Caroline afterwards I met a whole new set of people, another small community just like book club.

Caroline and I

I’ve gone off track. Caroline and I have know each other on and off for around 8 years. Funny thing is it was running that brought us back together and I have done my best to make sure I’m at most if not all of her big races. I’m proud to have Caroline as a friend as I am of all of my friend’s. What’s more amazing is this lovely person had achieved some amazing things,  after breaking her ribs after a bike accident, (i think) She has got herself back to fitness and not only does she run 5k at park run nearly every Saturday, but she managed to do the Leeds half Marathon and saved time off her PB, in soaring heat on a Sunday morning.

Caroline told me today one of her running heroes is a 72 old lady. Mine is Caroline. I have started running again and found it so hard to get myself going.  Like her a lot has changed for me since 2012’s Leeds 10k. I feel like I’m starting from scratch but pulling a massive stone behind me, which is actually stopping me getting anywhere.

To be able to see Caroline run today and talk to her about what’s happening with my training has made me realise that I can do this. I just need to lift the pressure and get rid of this stone. However I complete this 10k in July, whether I walk it or run it, I have to remember why I am doing it and that’s to say thank you to my friend Carly. Carly died of Cystic Fibrosis in 2001. I have fund-raised for other causes but it’s time to do one for me, and this is it. All monies raised will go back up north towards Team Jack. A six year old boy suffering from the same condition. So, if you start struggling while exercising, just remember, others do to, it’s just we don’t like to talk about it when the bottom line is, we really should.

So thank you Caroline for being my running hero and thank you for letting me cheer you on today. xxx

Thank you for reading

Here is the reason I’m running the Leeds  10k

Living with memory loss

No one will believe you

they think you’re making it up

you shout, get angry.

But no one listens.

You ask for help

No one listens.

In the end it makes it worse.

In the end, you have to open their eyes

and they will see, but not after getting frustrated,

not after you’ve stressed yourself out and things

get worse….

You don’t understand why it keeps happening

so why should they?

But you’ve asked for help

But you should be better by now?

Oh how I wish I was, but for me I have a long road to go.

From 38 points to 72points of missing sunshine.

Oh how I wish this could be fixed sooner.

I Will Always Remember


With the dawn of a new day, I will always remember the sweetness of you.

The way that you smiled through my life, leaving your mark upon my character.

As tears cascade down my cheeks, know that my sadness holds great memories.

I miss you with every moment of everyday, I cannot imagine a sunrise without you near.

My days may be less beautiful without your presence, but always beautiful with your memory.

I feel blessed to have had you in my life for so long, you held me close with love.

You taught me how to be humble and respectful, how to be strong and steadfast.

This life at times feels cruel, I feel that cruelness now as you have gone.

But as life carries on, so does your memory within my heart and mind.

Above all you taught me to love without conditions, to forgive beyond all boundaries.

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