Monthly Archives: March 2016

Why am I so important?

That sounds like a big ego statement, but I promise you it’s not. In recent months I’ve been trying to figure out who I am and what I want, what I want for the next 26ish years before I may or may not retire. After recently discovering (good thing or bad, I’m still not sure) that my vitamin D deficiency will be an ongoing thing for the next 6 months at least and has been at least half of what it should be, I’ve realised I haven’t been well and definitely not myself, whoever that maybe.

At my last Doctor’s appointment with the review of the vitamin D, I told him about my forgetting and how things have improved, and the only way I could describe it is, the feeling of waking up, that I have walked,stepped out of a fog. In some cases I’m seeing what others do in me, the success of LBCPuffins and then in others I still wonder what the fuss is about.

Tomorrow I’m back at work after 5 days and I’ve got that back to school feeling you get after a week off. Simply because I’m wondering if I’m still good enough. I feel so much better, I’ve had catch-up’s with people, read books, walked dogs, topped up my vitamin D with natural sunlight, cried at Billy Elliot, food shopped and cooked from scratch. I now have a freezer full of meals and a cupboard full of essentials. My kitchen has never looked so healthy. However I still managed to put the coffee in the fridge. We can’t all be perfect :p

That’s the first sign that things of changed. The fact that there are no ready meals in the freezer, only home cooked food. The only junk food if it’s classed as that is some pack of biscuits and fizzy pop. Talking about signs on Friday and Saturday I watched some films, mainly cartoon ones, Inside Out, The Princess and the frog,  and hop, along with catching up on the tv series Sleepy Hollow where Ichabod Crane awakes in a different time, or something like that. Anyway in all these viewings, it’s about finding who we are and our places in the world.  This is true for me. Trying to look after number 1 for once and focusing on me, has been quite tricky, proven yesterday when I tried to have some me-time.

Me-time you say? but you live on your own. Yes I know that but when you’re at work and may feel lonely even when  surrounded by people, and yes that’s possible, and yes spending time with friends and family is amazing, it’s great to have company, sometimes we need that time when the house is quiet and you’re focusing on you. Now sometimes I can’t stand the quiet and yesterday after returning from a friend’s I went straight out again for a walk. This happens on occasion, I can’t stand being in the house after being surrounded by people, and if I can’t get out I clean the house or play lots of music or find a distraction. What I find funny about this is I seem to never wash-up and avoid it like the plague when I should really do it  every night.

The thing is, I really, really don’t know what I want, except a year out, a year away from retail and to recover, rediscover and enjoy the sun, even though I was so scared when my good friend said she wanted to move away I felt so selfish and didn’t encourage her, I think we all need to find what’s best for us and do it. I can’t take a year out, not yet, what I need to do is refocus and work out what I can do around work. How I can spend my free time, besides my beautiful book clubs, I need to reopen project Helen and discover the art of healing, forgiving and discovering who I truly am, not Helen the daughter, the second-mother (to my sister), the sister, the friend, but Helen the awesome, amazing person everyone keeps telling me. As I can’t see what they do, and I think it’s about time I did.

I’ll keep you updated on the progress but for now I best go and iron my uniform.

Thank you for reading

xxx

 

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You know its time to move when……

life’s ups and downs

Hello from me to you

after 3 months of stress and life changing completely and for the better that you should have cleaned the house at least once. I did wash up of course but only when I ran out of stuff. But the hoovering and dusting and other stuff, I left it and my first Saturday where I decided I needed to be at home and sort it all and realising the house is to big for little me and like my sister said it was possibly one of the worst mistakes I made, but hey we’re not perfect and its taught me some good lessons. One how far your money spreads when your single. That relying on one income can be very scary especially to have took 3 years and the thought of how the bills seem to climb higher and higher. 😦

However its also one of the best things I have done. It may…

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Enid Blyton Challenge – Book 01 – The Book of Brownies – GUEST

is this really 3 years ago?

LeedsBookClub

One of our Superstar Guest Stars has agreed to a new challenge based on our chats relating to #LBCPuffins.

Can’t wait to read each review as they come!

Helen’s Enid Blyton Challenge
 


About the Author

A review and history on the book can be found on HERE

First published in 1926 this is Enid Blyton’s 10th book. 

It is about three mischievous little brownies who aren’t invited to the King’s party and are tricked by a witch to help kidnap the princess which leads them into all sorts of adventures trying to rescue the princess and make up for their mistake.

I was given this book by my Grandma when I was a child. I can’t remember how old I was but the story has always stuck with me and the book is one of my most treasured possessions. I have only ever read two of Enid Blyton’s…

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LBCWhiteswan review – Perks of being a wallflower

LeedsBookClub

LBC White Swan

 Venue: White Swan Leeds
Date:  Sunday 9th of February 2014
                         Time:  6:00pm
             Address: Swan Street, Leeds

Discussing: 

The Perks of Being a Wallflower

by Stephen Chbosky

THE BLURB (from Amazon)


4327066Charlie is a freshman. And while he’s not the biggest geek in the school, he is by no means popular. Shy, introspective, intelligent beyond his years yet socially awkward, he is a wallflower, caught between trying to live his life and trying to run from it. Charlie is attempting to navigate his way through uncharted territory: the world of first dates and mixed tapes, family dramas and new friends; the world of sex, drugs, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, when all one requires is that perfect song on that perfect drive to feel infinite. But Charlie can’t stay on the sideline forever. Standing on the fringes of life offers a unique perspective. But there comes…

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The Art of being Single

Hello from me to you

Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.”

1. Being single gives you time to be by yourself, with yourself.

Finally some me time. This is the time to reconnect with myself, a time where I can talk to myself, debating all the questions and answers that are bouncing in my head.  

This is the time of reflection. This is the time of acceptance and letting go, which brings me to the second point…

2. If you don’t let go of the past, you will never appreciate the present.

Yes I have fond memories of my exes, but that was in the past. I know I will always cherish those memories, but I need to stop clinging to them to live for today and plan for tomorrow.

Buddha said every day…

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‘Just Keep Swimming’

nothing much has changed

Hello from me to you

My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” taken from one of my fave films- Forest Gump

It was my day off today. My plans changed slightly this morning and I ended up waiting to see if the gas check man was coming because both him and the landlord have great communication skills. they just turn up and fix it, if I’m in that is.  It’s been a long week, both mentally and physically. I can’t wait until Saturday at 5:30pm as I have two days off together. first time in ages (I think). I can’t wait. I’m finding hard to switch off lately and when I do and I’ve forgotten about everything I feel good until things creep in again and I feel a sense of guilt for relaxing and enjoying myself. Hence why I wanted to go to my favourite indoor place…Ikea. I love Ikea…

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