Yesterday I had an hour long chat with my Mum, I don’t do this enough, more so because I’ve felt so up and down these past few months, I know she can tell, and over the phone is a bit hard, as you can’t comfort that person.
Everyone says that they have the best Mum in the world, but I truly do. She has grown up as the eldest daughter of 6 siblings, and was expected to go to work when possible and maybe help look after the younger one, and she has gone through so much to get where she is today and most of all made me who I am, and I’m proud of that.
Sounds daft but, I try so hard not to be like my Dad that I think it broke me, instead I look at my bad points/habits and try to notice them and change them when I can. One of my biggest problems is not asking for help, I don’t know how. I see it as failure, as I’ve always done things myself where possible. I grew up helping my Mum look after my sister, and at times when Mum was unwell I took care of her to.
I always felt I need to try stay in the background so Mum could focus on my sister, but she knew when I was troubled and on a night when I used to sit on her bed talking she would coax it out of me, and then the tears would start and Mum would sort my problems out. Later in life I found that bottling it up didn’t work and did cause issues, but I could never find a way to express myself properly. Now after several years some life changing events, some delayed counselling, I feel like all my Mum’s handwork has paid off and I know not to leave it to long before I next call her.
So thank you Mum for being my Mum and teaching me all those things when we were young, for letting us use the library and bringing home armfuls of books, for encouraging our arty side, from slat dough to drawing and painting, for being an amazing cook, I wish I could have corn beef pie more often. For listening and giving me pep talks even at the age I am now.
I love you so much, and feel very lucky to be your daughter.