I haven’t blogged in a while, I’ve actually been quite busy, but I notice if I don’t write down what’s going on, on here or in a book, after a while it starts to effect me. Recently I will try to spark a conversation and find someone’s seen it on Facebook, or I may have told them a couple of days ago and forgot.
A couple of years ago before I seeked help, I led a path of destruction on social media, without realizing or knowing it, a collection of messages were kept and used against me. At one point I got really cautious and stopped posting personal stuff then things gradually built up again.
Now it feels like it’s happening again. I don’t get chance to explain myself, if I do its seen as excuses, some in fairness perhaps are, a bad habit I picked up because people didn’t want the truth. Now it’s happening again. Nothing is secret and although its keeping others informed, it makes me feel like I’m being spied on and not trusted again. Some of this is building up to how I’m feeling and I know I’m making too much of a big of a deal out of it, but I’ve come along way and still continue on working through things. The thing is I don’t live with anyone, I work full time and go to book club and see friends as much as I can, that means I generally have loads to tell people, genrally waffle but its good to chat.
At the moment I am working on building my memory back up. The pile of notebooks get bigger, the filofax is hardly from my side and now I have google calendar which is taking ages to get used to. So I might just make memory books and keep them for myself and not bother telling anyone anything as they would prefer to find it of fb or someone else.
Hello! I’m over here! Yes we all make the mistake of relying on text based messages instead of ringng. we check fb instead of texting or ringing or going round to that persons house. We don’t communicate clearly anymore and we need to.
So for now I’m disappearing of social media and concentrating on other things.
Thank you for reading