Thank you 2015

So we’re halfway through March, how has that happened? Work is going better than expected. I’m having to relearn some things, and I’m encouraging myself to read books on management and design. And the best bit is I’m being creative again. I’ve gone a bit silly with my book club logo and now have a set of clothing with it on and a mouse mat. Next stop is to buy a satchel bag for all my books and notebooks and print on that to.

It’s been a whirlwind start to the year. A very different start to last year. I’m also dealing with a change of medication and a few wobbles which lead me to look back at my CBT stuff and can’t believe how far I have come. I have begun to notice the signs and if I feel like I’m having an off day, I can talk myself out of beating myself up about it.

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Today I have had friends round, at different times, and its funny how people who are quite different can feel and think the same. Humans are funny creatures, they really are. Some can get quite snobby about things that others like. For example if I say I go to book club, someone might say, why would you do that? or I couldn’t do that, walk into a place with strangers, or why read books are boring. Well quite frankly, as I said before I didn’t think I could do it but I have, and its the best thing I did. I also have to keep reminding people we have our own way of doing things, and we all have our own talents. I’m good at photography, I’m striving to be positive, I try to do my best in everything knowing that others can do far better. Some customers point it out quite frequently which is annoying.

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I’ve always felt, like I’ve never fitted. I know in the last 4 years I have changed so much and sometimes I recognise a ‘helen’ from years ago creeping back and that’s a good thing. I just think now after everything that has happened I’m not going to stop myself from growing. I enjoy learning and experiencing new things. I get so excited over the simplest of things, like someone bringing me a coffee, sitting with a friend and chatting. Finding out a new ay to use technology. Airdrop on the mac is the latest thing. It’s so easy!

And then there’s no apps, Last night I just discovered Trello. an electronic to do list. I can use this for everything and hopefully not get as complicated piles of notebooks and pieces of paper.

Last week I aimed to have Sunday as my day and came down with a cold. I was dreading getting today and being ill, and had decided that it would be my nothing day. I would sit and do nothing, but it turned out far better than that. One of my friend’s turned up for coffee with her little boy and he entertained us by being a super hero with a blamket tied round his neck, and I found he loves custard creams. Then another friend came after and discussed all things including book club. After that, instead of settling down, I ended up tidying up the attic/office and have got rid of 4 bin bags. That’s the result of shifting everything upstairs, out of sight out of mind. I’m just amazed at the hoarding I’ve done. I have so much. And it’s going to take me a while to detach myself from stuff, but as long as I focus on the good things, I’ll hopefully stop ’emotionally buying’ and to use the library more for book club choices. This is my plan. This is my year.

Thank you for reading

xxxx

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