‘I don’t want the world to see me’

A line from one of my favourite songs.

Actually I do want people to see me but for the right reasons. I have not felt this happy, this strong in a long time. I finally feel like a fit my suit, my body (need to get fit and shed some of the wobbly bits mind) But I finally feel like I’m a Helen I could settle with. I am so excited about life about book club, photography. I may not have many friends but the ones I do have I treasure so much. My family are amazing. everyone is amazing.

The other day I posted about my memory jar. I need to restart it again. There’s loads from this week including ‘there’s carrot in this cake’ ‘yes Helen its carrot cake’ I put it down to lack of liquid and food for 3 hours. I should be drinking regularly (water/coffee) and a snack sometimes as my blood pressure drops and makes me feel bleaugh and my brain switches off. I think that’s why in the last few months I have fallen madly and deeply in love with coffee. and to think I only started drinking it to stay up and finish my dissertation all those years ago. Thank you Lee for introducing it to me. Best thing ever! that and cider 😀 Oh how I love cider. There was a time in boro that I drank way too much of it as it was a £1 a pint.

Since returning from Mum’s on Monday and trying to sort out my life I’ve felt so tired I’ve actually laid in past 10am much to my sister’s surprise and mine in that case. I’m normally up by 7am sometimes earlier, its very rare I sleep in.

Today I was up bright and early and ended up in Hyde Park way too early for Park run, but hey it was good to wander about and take photos. I then wandered off into town to search for a birthday present before returning on the bus and seeing the festival on in the park. 4 years I’ve been here and not had the chance to go as I was working and forgot to book the time off. Its amazing to see that community things still happen and how busy it was. Keep it going people.

I also watched third rock from the sun this week, and forgot how funny it was. They made a valid point, ‘why are humans so worried about what others think?’ It’s true and something we shouldn’t worry about. Everyone is different and if people don’t like it, you’re in the wrong crowd. I’ve learn’t that.

So thanks to everyone who’s helped me in past few months and years and fingers crossed for this new adventure

Thank you for reading



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