But I don’t want it to end :(

2014 is fast approaching. Christmas will be here in a blink of an eye, the build up has already happened and the amount of steam coming out of peoples ears is horrendous. It’s one bloody day, and by the looks of things we’ve forgotten what its about. Obviously there’s the religious reason that Jesus was born but I’m not religious but happy birthday anyway. I am also annoyed about this time of year as it then leads into January which no one likes and then it’s my birthday 😦 I’m more lucky then the poor sods having a birthday in December or close to the big day but its like such a build up for Xmas I can’t be bothered by the time its my birthday sometimes and then its another year older. this time *coughs* I’m 34. I don’t want to be 33 is such a nice number. 😦 Plus I still have to much to do in 2013 and to much to read and so much I want to do not that money is allowing it, its so frustrating.  Perhaps my admirer at the chippy is a young rich hansom prince who will drive me around all my book clubs and support Kirsty and My radio shows, or maybe not. Yes, apparently someone took a shine to me in the chippy and has asked if I’ve been back. eekkss!


I found out a month ago I have low blood pressure, I thought it might be due to my tablets but apparently my sister and Mum have it, and there’s me thinking I was special. I obviously didn’t want to be left out. 😦 I rang her tonight to find out if she knew anything about it after the doctor this morning told me to eat more salt, yeah more chips smothered in tomato sauce, salad cream,vinegar and now salt, heaven!

I also asked who my Mum thought I would go to a Alice in Wonderland Tea party and straight away she said the mad hatter. Love you Mum you know me so well. We also discussed the things I’ve been doing and she told me I have to draw more, as at school apparently the teacher was jealous of my talents, he was acutually the better teacher but I only got him for a year 😦 I remember Mum saying years ago she wanted to go back to my school and say to the teachers who wrote me off that I have achieved far more than they said I would. two courses under my belt a job dealing with design and customers, book club and of course the radio. Never ever would I have dreamed of editing a show let alone hosting one. It is so amazing!!!!!!

In the new year there looks like there are big chnages a foot and I’m scared, however I know I won’t crumble, hide away or shutdown. I know it wasn’t mean’t to last and that in some cases we will have to know where to put our trust and that we can only achieve things if we put a 110% into it. I always thought I needed a knight in shining armour to rescue me, I think it’s been hiding inside me all this time. My Mum told me off to night and said that I am very talented ‘I just don’t bloody listen!’ and to get the negative thoughts/words of my dad out of my head, I’ve tried my best to banish him from my life but it’s funny what the voices in your head do to you, someone told me I had alot of demons to deal with, hence why I love CBT, and the fact its is helping so much. I intend to do some more after I post this.

So thanks to all my friends and family who have stuck by me, thank you to the radio and Leeds Book Club for letting me do so much for them and letting me be a big part of it. I will be eternally grateful. and to Kirsty White of the radio. Bookclub wouldn’t be the same without you, we make a great team. xxx

Thank you for reading



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