So, here’s the beginning of the end of 2013. It’s going to disappear as quickly as you say ‘jack flash’ or whatever it is.
Yes I sound grumpy but I have been having such a good time social wise and learning incredible amounts of stuff with the cognitive behavioural sessions, I just don’t want it to end.
So what have I learned:
* That I still care to much about the wrong things
* That I am only human and when one bad thing rolls into another its best not to let it snowball like it did from Tuesday through no fault to anyone. It was just lots of things to cope with in a space of a short time and I didn’t have a moment to sit down and process it.
* I am finally settled in my house after 3 years but desperatley need to move to cut the costs. I need a fairy godmother I think.
* Life throws so many things at you that some are good/terrific and others are mean’t to test you, and the others will attach to you like leeches that you need to be really strong not to let them pull you down to their level. it’s a toughy
* That it’s good to talk, sometimes on the phone, but so much better face-to-face. Hence why from now on I’m making a better effort to talk/spend time with the people who have helped me over these last few years, I just wish I could go up home more.
* That I’m finally becoming content with myself. I like me, I like what I have achieved, I like being part of Leeds Book Club and the Radio station, in fact I love it, I breathe it. Ask me a few years back if I would be a part of either or doing this I would have laughed in your face. I don’t know what others think or whether I’m any good but I love it. I love doing book reviews and chatting about books, I just need to put more effort in reading the bloody books and not letting life take over. Having depression makes you stop reading. I hate it. I am to resolve it the best I can.
* I don’t like being labelled but it’s took me a while to accept that I have had issues and I’m finally sorting them, I’ve always been slow on the uptake, but a part of me think I’ve always been sacred to accept who I am and that I’m allowed to ask for help or have a problem.
* That some point or other you turn into someone you didn’t want to. I turned into my Dad and something else I didn’t like. But I think I’m fixing that now.
The rest of 2013 and into 2014
* Get Christmas over with. What I mean is I can’t wait to get home/oop north for Christamas and spend three days with my Mum, sister and Milo the dog. I miss my boy. It’s the first Christmas without my Dad and I want it to be a good one. This is about my Mum and what she’s coped with all these years and yet still been there for me, even if I’ve not been in touch enough. sorry Mum. xxxx
* Then there’s the dread of my birthday in January and I’ll be officially a grown up and head south to 40. I will be 34 *sobs* how did I get so old. My friend told me last week at pool that I had turned into a rebellious teenager, I said I had been thinking that to. 😀
* I also want to know why songs don’t have many lyrics in them and that they keep repeating stuff. I want a good song to screech to!!!!! (sign of old age)
* At the radio station I have some big things going on but will tell you near the time,, in the meantime, I am doing a new show with Kirsty called What’s on and we need to know events going on in South Leeds that need promoting. We will also be doing a second book to bookclub to do with health, The first one in January will be self help guides the one in February will be a guide to dating and March mind and spiritual guides. any suggestions are kindly welcomed.
* I got asked what I wanted for Christmas yesterday, like my Birthday I’m never sure. but this year I’m aiming to get my self a printer and have asked for a a4 organiser/filofax so I can keep my whole life in and organise my bookclubs and stuff for radio. It will make me feel and look important *scoffs*
* I aim to be very busy next year, being involved in anything and everything. This year has proved I learn’t a little at uni and that it wasn’t a complete waste of time and that I can do more that I think. I am one talented,young lady.
This is DJ HellsBells reporting from a small place in Beeston
Thank you for listening, sorry I mean reading.