Monthly Archives: August 2013

#FF The end of August :(

Feeling my way through the darkness
Guided by a beating heart
I can’t tell where the journey will end
But I know where to start

Haven’t done this for a while but I’m listening to club music. A mixture of old and new. When I lived in Middlesbrough it was one of the things I loved, even the cheesy pop ones changed into club classics. I remember my Dad used to say ‘Can you turn that down as all I can hear is thud thud thud’. A bit like what i get from my neighbours sometimes.

This week has been very busy for me. A delayed start to the week thanks to that stupid idea called Bank Holiday Monday, which is a bit like snowy weather meaning everything has to grind to a halt and everyone takes to the end of the week to function properly. Or in the case of today for all the technology just to fail in what felt like one massive tantrum by a group of male objects requiring attention.  But that’s another story.

Tuesday, I went out after work with people from work and got to know people better than quick hellos as they walk past the stand, and last night I went to a friend’s for tea and chat without having to concentrate on recording a show. Not only did I have a fantastic time on both occasions and realised I have become a bigger lightweight then ever, I realised how good it is to talk and you don’t need much money just good company, good venue and have a good laugh. We forget to do this in our society. We expect everything instant. We think if we ring someone they should answer immediately, we get annoyed if we have forgotten to do something and left it to late and it can’t be done for whatever reason. We rely to heavily on technology that we are left helpless when it crashes and can’t be rebooted. Same thing happened in Sainsburys on the headrow. All the self checkouts went down one after the other and they only had two people to work the tills. Genius!!!

We really need to get back to basics. We need to learn to communicate properly again and learn to watch our tone of voice and learn grammar again I think. We’ve become to stressful as a society. Things aren’t going to change. Money is going to get tighter and tighter as food, fuel, bus/train fares rocket and the people who keep the country going like you and I, not the government will become less and less happy and more depressed and arsy.

Life is to short. We need to stop taking things out on each other whether you are friend, family or complete stranger. We need to help each other, as we all have different skills and talents so we are all useful. Life would be boring if we were all the same.

Next week I visit ‘oop north’ It feels like a long time coming. I will be going here there and everywhere and then trying to catch up on some reading and hoping the weather is amazing so I can just spend the day in the garden. Mum has an amazing garden and when I go up there it’s like a completely different world. I just wish I had the time and money to be able to do the house up for her. I helped years ago to get the living room and landing painted and again everything needs brightening up again. I’ve been thinking this weeks of regrets of things I’ve done. I can’t change it I have to live with it and hopefully forget about it, I do regret not ending the relationship sooner with the person who broke my heart because I never believed in myself and never thought anyone would like me for who I was let alone fall in love but I now know that this is wrong and the signs were there that the relationship had run it’s course.

I also regret moving into this house. Simply because I think it’s been one of the reasons I haven’t been able to let go of things because it is the same as the old house, it’s too big and I didn’t realise what a responsibility it is to run a house on you’re own. If I think about it now I perhaps should have looked for a bedsit, because I really do like living on my own even though it can be boring, hard work doing everything myself and sometimes lonely. But I gain so much more from it, by being messy, by having time to myself, and not have to worry that I am disturbing anyone else. It’s bliss sometimes.

So to the weekend to the week ahead. If one more person tells me it will soon be Christmas I might scream. I don’t think I have got out of 2013 what I really wanted. I think I have stood still and everything has flown past while my bank balance gets lower and lower. I have tried positive thinking and sometimes it works, I just think I need a stronger will to keep it going and a bit more sleep, as insomnia is not my friend at the moment.

Oh I nearly forgot. I went up to home bargains early wednesday morning to get my sister some kinder eggs for a project and decided to go into Morrisons for some booze. yes to early in the morning, anyway it’s for a friend’s birthday and I went in and the woman gave me a strange look. When I got to the counter with two bottles of cider I was asked for id. Best bit is she did a double take as if it was fake. and I said you’ve made my day and she said I look very young for my age. I got ID at 33!!!!!

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I’m off up north next week and to see this exhibition to continue the Enid Blyton challenge. I don’t know if I will be able to take any clothes with me this time with the things I’ve got to take with me 🙂 My Kindle, a few books, some stuff to take home.

I have a book challenge I’ve set myself of 69 books to read and haven’t got far with the 33 I chose as I keep getting distracted by different books, perhaps my heart is not in it. I also need to stop buying books but going into a bookshop and coming out empty handed is so hard. I must be strong.

Yesterday I failed to do my book reviews and when I’m oop north I’ll be missing a book club, I thought I’d read the choice for Puffins and go to the pub for lunch with Mum and Jane. It wouldn’t be right otherwise. 😀

Oh and as a society we are becoming utterly rubbish at communicating, I admit I don’t ring Mum and Jane and ask more about them but so often we rely on emails and text that is is really beginning to be a pet hate of mine. Oh well, not everyone can be happy.

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My Mum says that if I were a dog I would be…..

a spaniel


Mainly because I don’t sit still for more than two seconds although I have done quite well today. So I looked up the characteristics and guess what? She might be right. And there’s me thinking I was more of a jack russell. But don’t worry I’m house trained. 😀

Traits of a spaniel:

‘The English Springer Spaniel, named for the way he “springs” at game to flush it for the hunter, has long been a favourite with sportsmen, but this lively, beautiful dog also makes a wonderful family companion if he receives the training and exercise he needs.’

‘English Springer Spaniels are smart and eager to please, not to mention enthusiastic. They are happy dogs and seem to have a good sense of humour  They usually do well with children if they are brought up with them from puppyhood and are affectionate toward their families. They also are generally good with other pets in the household, even small ones, but might see pet birds as prey since those are what they’re bred to hunt.

Because they’re hunting dogs, English Springer Spaniels require a lot of exercise, but keep them on leash in unfenced areas or they may decide to go hunting on their own. Because they are such good athletes, many non-hunting owners participate in activities such as obedience, agility, flyball, and tracking with their English Springer Spaniels. They also make great therapy dogs, bringing smiles to people in hospitals and nursing homes.’

‘English Springer Spaniels will bark if strangers come to your house, but if you’re looking for a guard dog, keep looking. They are loving, gentle dogs who expect even strangers to give them attention.’

‘Because of their affectionate nature, they aren’t a one-person dog. They are very people-oriented, and shouldn’t be left home alone or isolated from people for long periods.’


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ROAD TRIP!!!! Wednesday at Bridlington

Why oh why do days off and holidays take so long to get to, and then gone in a blink of an eye? I remember at school thinking the six weeks holiday would be to long then bam! they’re gone. Visits to Mum’s family every year where we had almost 2 weeks down there and then they were over and my sister and I would be in tears leaving as we wanted to stay down there. If I could have had all my family in one place when I was young I would have been in heaven. Life is full of regrets and lately I have been on the verge of losing everything again that I have tried to value everything where possible. I keep spending money when I shouldn’t because I keep thinking there’s nothing worth saving for and then wondering why my clothes are falling apart or there’s nothing in the cupboard. I keep meaning to fix this and I started by trying positive mental attitude, yesterday I saw the effects starting to happen when I set myself a target for 10 things to be collected and it worked. Not the way I thought it would but I still achieved it.

On Wednesday my friends and I went to Bridlington to meet up with some more friends.

‘Bridlingtons historic harbour area bustles in summer and hints at its extensive fishing heritage. The Old Town further boosts its appeal, Bridlington also offers easy access to coastal walking around Flamborough Head and for visits to Bempton Cliffs RSPB reserve. Flamborough Headland, with its dramatic chalk cliffs reaching upto 130 metres at Bempton, is one of England’s treasured designated heritage coasts.’

It’s the first time I had been there and couldn’t wait I wanted to get a bucket and spade, and partly because I was doing my bucket list to so would come in handy later. I had also been in search of flip flops but the fashion industry has now decided summer is over and we should be wearing overcoats, trousers, hats and scarfs. *sighs*

The weather was superb, a mix of light showers and then the sun appearing but it wasn’t to warm. We had lunch when we got there and then had a walk down to the south side I believe, on the way I picked up a bucket and spade and then managed to get some flip-flops. The comfiest things I have worn in ages. We had an icecream which mine appeared to melt in seconds and then onto the beach. Steph, Matt and I went down to the water and I remember thinking seeing some girls fully dressed and completely soaked and how silly they were and then Matt soaked the pair of us and I found this so funny I joined in and got drenched. I then kicked more water and went running for Steph to try catch me. I said to myself ‘just let go Helen, enjoy being here and just let go’. So we spent the afternoon on the beach, me building sandcastles, Matt digging to china and the rest of the group enjoying the sun. It was great, I was like a big kid going back and forth in the water and then trying to build sandcastles and not thinking about the conditions of the sand and my friends telling me to move further down the beach, I thought they were trying to trick me into the sea again 🙂

I will treasure that day forever. As I’ve always said you don’t need a lot of things or money to have a good time, just pick a place, hope the weather is good or if inside choose a good comfortable establishment, good friends and food and enjoy the moment, because once it is gone we can never get it back and it’s only memories, photos and regrets that we have.


Lynn and me
Lynn and me

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Another day, another week gone just like that….

Another week and the weather has changed, again and another month is about to end. I have so many things to do and I need to sit down and plan and gain more self control and make sure I know exactly what I need to do to finish this year on a high.

So tomorrow I need to make another list, grab a bacon sandwich from the local cafe and get on with sorting my life out. It’s a long ongoing project 🙂

We could never learn to be brave & patient, if there were only joys in the world. -Helen Keller

The brick walls aren’t there to keep us out, the brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. -R Pausch

Intelligent people frequently experience bouts of sadness, anger & or depression but often easily bounce back & continue to smile.

You are made to make a difference, so embrace every opportunity to do so.

The worst thing about being lied to is simply knowing you weren’t worth the truth. -Unknown

The region of the brain responsible for the expression of truth becomes more responsive when a person is angry & or intoxicated.

I’m gonna make the REST of my LIFE, the BEST of my LIFE.

Everything is going to be alright, maybe not today, but eventually.

“We build too many walls and not enough bridges.”—Isaac Newton

When I let go of what’s not meant to be, I clear a path for good stuff to find me!

Change your thoughts and you change your world. Norman Vincent Peale

Our life always expresses the result of our dominant thoughts. Soren Kierkegaard

Psychology says, the most beautiful souls are the souls that smile regardless of their struggle.

And a big thank you to the 80 peeps who follow my blog. 🙂

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Video sent to me by South Leeds Communtiy Radio….

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‘Success isn’t measured by money or power or social rank. Success is measured by your discipline & inner peace. -Mike Ditka’

‘A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind. -Richard Dehmel’

‘”Give yourself a break if you feel stressed!’

‘It is better to look ahead & prepare than to look back & regret. -Jackie Joyner-Kersee’

‘The key ingredient to any kind of happiness or success is to never give less than your best.’

‘Shopping for clothing items improves mood, reduces stress, strengthens immune system & helps you live longer.’

‘Nobody is worth your tears, and the one who is won’t make you cry.’

‘Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. -Lucille Ball’

‘Over thinking generally causes you to obsess about things that may not ever take place.’

‘SMALL changes can make a BIG difference.’

‘There are no mistakes in life, just lessons.’

‘The nicest people over think the most. Worrying & or obsessive thinking is linked to empathy & a good heart.’

‘Making a to do list before bed can help you fall asleep easier.’

‘You can’t let one bad moment spoil a bunch of good ones. -Dale Earnhardt’

‘True love is when someone accepts your past, supports your presents, and encourages your future.’

‘Unplug! Try turning off your email for 1hr daily – allow time to be proactive not reactive  #SlowCoach tip #SlowDown

My sister is making me turn into my father (shudders) wrong person to turn into *sobs quietly* I don’t want to but the more I try not to I do.

Earworm of the day….

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