Monthly Archives: June 2013

Earworms of the day

I’m trying to finish this book:

However I have it in my head that it’s a western. I was tweeted the link above and now I have this song below in my head 🙂

I now want to see this film 😀

and this one is stuck in my head after going for milk in the co op.

and can’t leave without sharing this one

Thank you for reading.

xx

xx

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I think this is true of everyone, my friend put this on FB:

‘I’ve always had an emotional attachment to food, so when i get stressed or upset, i tend to turn to food.
Well the first step is; 
1) recognising the problem.
2) realising that you can accomplish anything.
3) small, manageable goals work better.
4) everyone slips, just start again.
5) its not a diet, its a healthy way of life.
6) eat foods that are good for you and that you enjoy
7) keep an eye on portion size.
8) listen to your body, stop eating when you feel satisfied.
9) exercise has to be something you enjoy or it feels like a chore and you give in.
10) enjoy life, when you are happy and healthy everything else will fall into place.

Bring on Monday, I’m ready!’

I feel totally the same but sometimes its with money not food and I spend what I don’t have, then moan when I can’t have what everyone else does. I would like a car and this that and the other but I’m to wrapped up in all the pathetic things of everyday life and letting the stresses of work get to me  to stop and think that I don’t need that bar of chocolate or bottle of fizzy pop to get me through the day. What I should be doing is going for a wander and taking a breather. I should start eating healthier and drink more water and eat fruit and should put the money for chocolate in a pot. I don’t mean to cut it out completely, I’ve said this all before that I should start again, but I think I have to now. I mean, I am getting on a bit 🙂

These last few months I’ve been thinking about the male role models/relationships in my life and I feel about 50% of the men in  my life who I truly care about end up telling me I am a failure that everything no matter what is all my fault.  It does work both ways you know.  Respect is earn’t and so easily dashed. Why should I bother to make the effort if you’re just going to be arsy back????  Hence why I’ve broke contact. And also why I am still single. I just can’t go through that again where someone goes ‘it’s your fault, not me’ ‘you didn’t say this, so I fell out with you’ always stupid little things. Always expecting respect when none is returned. Yes, I am now able to admit I am stubborn and can be frustrating, I know I ‘disappeared’ for such a long time and now have come back, perhaps a little different, hopefully better,  I am the first to admit I am no good for asking for help. I haven’t been since I was little, and now that I have, it feels like I have let everyone down and I feel ashamed.

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want”
–Richard Yates (Revolutionary Road)

I sound so pretentious. If that’s the right word. Perhaps I’ve always wanted to fit in. I know at school I struggled and was bullied a lot. Didn’t help with what was going on at home with Dad. I keep getting told and yes they’re probably right that I should not let this effect what is going on at work what is going on at home. Only problem is I’ve had no one really to talk to as everyone else has been to busy and once I get home recently I want to just crash. I’m so exhausted, I just want to block everything out and that’s when the trouble begins. I thought I was being strong. I thought I was getting on ok. Managing a house, holding down a job, making something of myself, going to book clubs etc, etc…..

Instead I feel like I have caused quite a lot of damage,words have been said that can’t be taken back, I’ve let people who I care about use me, have them bully me, have them tell me I’ve let them down that. Well it works both ways people!!! Why do I have to be the one who gives all the time? Why do I get nothing in return? Instead they say we tried to help but you wouldn’t let us. How? How did you help and how hard did you try? I am a bit dense sometimes!!!! I’m beginning to wonder why I let myself be such a walkover or how it came to me not believing in myself or not being able to trust others.

‘Silly pudding, if you don’t ask you don’t get!’ -Holby City

I really do want to shake myself and shout ‘stop being such a drama queen!’ I’m being so silly. But I’m so sick of feeling like I’m being trod on. Perhaps I need to find a compromise with life, work, and not be so hard on myself for not being as good/clever as others.

So as they said on Holby:

‘Go out there, and grab the world by it’s wassits!’

So that’s what I’ll do. all guns blazing with barriers up!!!

Thank you for reading

xxx

Meeting an Author: Jeffrey Deaver

Image
Awaiting Jeffrey Deaver’s arrival

I can’t remember if it was in store in Leeds or Waterstones fb page that Jeffrey Deaver was signing his latest book. I rang my sister, and said I’d try to get the new one if I could afford it but in the ned I got two of her favourite books signed. Very cheeky of me I know as he is promoting his latest, but other people had the new book and a collection of others. I was 3rd in the queue after a half hour wait, I think when I was there, there was around a dozen people.

I felt really silly as I haven’t read any of his books, but went up with the two paperbacks, he shook my hand and said hello, and I said ‘these are for my sister as you are her favourite author’ and he said ‘why thank you’ and wrote a message in each for her. Off I skipped after blushing up and instantly rang my sister to babble down the phone that I had met yet another author.

while I was stood waiting a couple of men started talking to me and I had to keep saying ”m not sure I just know he’s written the bone colelctor’ One of them said ‘Do you think he’ll let me have my photo taken with him as that would make my day?’ Funny how we get obsessed with people and things. Take a look at my obsession with John Connelly, Colin Firth and now Neil Gaimen (I must meet him!!!)

So I would like to give a big thanks to Mr Deaver and promise once I get my hands on my sister’s spare copy of the bone collector I’ll start reading your books.

Thank you for reading

xxx

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

I love David Gray!

 

So at 8am on a Saturday morning, armed with a grande latte extra hot (they thought i said a latte with soya???) (I’m in need of elocution lessons me thinks) I started to sort out a t-shirt order I took yesterday at 2pm, I was told they would arrive promptly at 10am and with the writing taking what seem like years to cut we were behind schedule. So after sorting out the piles and checking quantity I started pressing. By about 9:30 I had pressed 14 t-shirts. Phew!. However this kick started the day for t-shirts and the person I came in early for didn’t show up until 11:30.

99 cups of coffee on the walk 99 cups if coffee is one should fall tra la la’ – twitter this morning

‘Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know everything happens for a reason.’-Twitter

I really wasn’t expecting today to be busy. I thought we would have a normal Saturday but instead it went manic over t-shirts. And after doing them for 2 hours almost, first thing, it did not fill me with joy. Saturdays are weird because they can build up and be busy or just be busy like mini tornadoes. wham there’s the first lot then it goes quiet then we get hit again 😦

And I felt I should have stayed at work and slept. I was there when the doors opened and then when they shut. I really really don;t know how I did it today, and little Jenny was such a trooper.

Yesterday I wondered if I should stay in Leeds a big part of me still wants to. I just need to change quite a few things at work and especially at home, here in this gigantic house, I need to move and fast. Lottery win would be helpful, just a few thousand.

Although you should be careful what you wish for I would love it if I could have a car again and a house with a garden and a room that I could make into a library. *sighs*

oh before I forget, one good thing happened today, my best friend Fin turned up with his little boy Max. We stopped talking a few months back for lots of reasons and I was so pleased to see him I burst into tears. And Max is such a cutey! He’s going to break all the girls hearts when he’s older.

Thank you fore reading

xxx

When someone is in trouble don’t stamp on them when they’re down

I feel like I’m stood still going round in circles while everything goes forward -me

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
― Robert Frost

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin

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“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
― Mother Teresa

“We read to know that we are not alone.”
― William Nicholson

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That’s part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads – at least that’s where I imagine it – there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in awhile, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live forever in your own private library.”
— Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

“You have to die a few times before you can really
live.”
— Charles Bukowski (The People Look Like Flowers at Last)

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there.

It doesn’t matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.”
— Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring.”
— Oscar Wilde

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

 “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero

 “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
― H. Jackson Brown Jr.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Apple Inc.

And finally an article about an amazing man: Staying power

Thank you for reading

xxx