Monthly Archives: June 2013

I think this is true of everyone, my friend put this on FB:

‘I’ve always had an emotional attachment to food, so when i get stressed or upset, i tend to turn to food.
Well the first step is; 
1) recognising the problem.
2) realising that you can accomplish anything.
3) small, manageable goals work better.
4) everyone slips, just start again.
5) its not a diet, its a healthy way of life.
6) eat foods that are good for you and that you enjoy
7) keep an eye on portion size.
8) listen to your body, stop eating when you feel satisfied.
9) exercise has to be something you enjoy or it feels like a chore and you give in.
10) enjoy life, when you are happy and healthy everything else will fall into place.

Bring on Monday, I’m ready!’

I feel totally the same but sometimes its with money not food and I spend what I don’t have, then moan when I can’t have what everyone else does. I would like a car and this that and the other but I’m to wrapped up in all the pathetic things of everyday life and letting the stresses of work get to me  to stop and think that I don’t need that bar of chocolate or bottle of fizzy pop to get me through the day. What I should be doing is going for a wander and taking a breather. I should start eating healthier and drink more water and eat fruit and should put the money for chocolate in a pot. I don’t mean to cut it out completely, I’ve said this all before that I should start again, but I think I have to now. I mean, I am getting on a bit 🙂

These last few months I’ve been thinking about the male role models/relationships in my life and I feel about 50% of the men in  my life who I truly care about end up telling me I am a failure that everything no matter what is all my fault.  It does work both ways you know.  Respect is earn’t and so easily dashed. Why should I bother to make the effort if you’re just going to be arsy back????  Hence why I’ve broke contact. And also why I am still single. I just can’t go through that again where someone goes ‘it’s your fault, not me’ ‘you didn’t say this, so I fell out with you’ always stupid little things. Always expecting respect when none is returned. Yes, I am now able to admit I am stubborn and can be frustrating, I know I ‘disappeared’ for such a long time and now have come back, perhaps a little different, hopefully better,  I am the first to admit I am no good for asking for help. I haven’t been since I was little, and now that I have, it feels like I have let everyone down and I feel ashamed.

“If you don’t try at anything, you can’t fail… it takes back bone to lead the life you want”
–Richard Yates (Revolutionary Road)

I sound so pretentious. If that’s the right word. Perhaps I’ve always wanted to fit in. I know at school I struggled and was bullied a lot. Didn’t help with what was going on at home with Dad. I keep getting told and yes they’re probably right that I should not let this effect what is going on at work what is going on at home. Only problem is I’ve had no one really to talk to as everyone else has been to busy and once I get home recently I want to just crash. I’m so exhausted, I just want to block everything out and that’s when the trouble begins. I thought I was being strong. I thought I was getting on ok. Managing a house, holding down a job, making something of myself, going to book clubs etc, etc…..

Instead I feel like I have caused quite a lot of damage,words have been said that can’t be taken back, I’ve let people who I care about use me, have them bully me, have them tell me I’ve let them down that. Well it works both ways people!!! Why do I have to be the one who gives all the time? Why do I get nothing in return? Instead they say we tried to help but you wouldn’t let us. How? How did you help and how hard did you try? I am a bit dense sometimes!!!! I’m beginning to wonder why I let myself be such a walkover or how it came to me not believing in myself or not being able to trust others.

‘Silly pudding, if you don’t ask you don’t get!’ -Holby City

I really do want to shake myself and shout ‘stop being such a drama queen!’ I’m being so silly. But I’m so sick of feeling like I’m being trod on. Perhaps I need to find a compromise with life, work, and not be so hard on myself for not being as good/clever as others.

So as they said on Holby:

‘Go out there, and grab the world by it’s wassits!’

So that’s what I’ll do. all guns blazing with barriers up!!!

Thank you for reading

xxx

Meeting an Author: Jeffrey Deaver

Image
Awaiting Jeffrey Deaver’s arrival

I can’t remember if it was in store in Leeds or Waterstones fb page that Jeffrey Deaver was signing his latest book. I rang my sister, and said I’d try to get the new one if I could afford it but in the ned I got two of her favourite books signed. Very cheeky of me I know as he is promoting his latest, but other people had the new book and a collection of others. I was 3rd in the queue after a half hour wait, I think when I was there, there was around a dozen people.

I felt really silly as I haven’t read any of his books, but went up with the two paperbacks, he shook my hand and said hello, and I said ‘these are for my sister as you are her favourite author’ and he said ‘why thank you’ and wrote a message in each for her. Off I skipped after blushing up and instantly rang my sister to babble down the phone that I had met yet another author.

while I was stood waiting a couple of men started talking to me and I had to keep saying ”m not sure I just know he’s written the bone colelctor’ One of them said ‘Do you think he’ll let me have my photo taken with him as that would make my day?’ Funny how we get obsessed with people and things. Take a look at my obsession with John Connelly, Colin Firth and now Neil Gaimen (I must meet him!!!)

So I would like to give a big thanks to Mr Deaver and promise once I get my hands on my sister’s spare copy of the bone collector I’ll start reading your books.

Thank you for reading

xxx

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.” ~C.S. Lewis

I love David Gray!

 

So at 8am on a Saturday morning, armed with a grande latte extra hot (they thought i said a latte with soya???) (I’m in need of elocution lessons me thinks) I started to sort out a t-shirt order I took yesterday at 2pm, I was told they would arrive promptly at 10am and with the writing taking what seem like years to cut we were behind schedule. So after sorting out the piles and checking quantity I started pressing. By about 9:30 I had pressed 14 t-shirts. Phew!. However this kick started the day for t-shirts and the person I came in early for didn’t show up until 11:30.

99 cups of coffee on the walk 99 cups if coffee is one should fall tra la la’ – twitter this morning

‘Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know everything happens for a reason.’-Twitter

I really wasn’t expecting today to be busy. I thought we would have a normal Saturday but instead it went manic over t-shirts. And after doing them for 2 hours almost, first thing, it did not fill me with joy. Saturdays are weird because they can build up and be busy or just be busy like mini tornadoes. wham there’s the first lot then it goes quiet then we get hit again 😦

And I felt I should have stayed at work and slept. I was there when the doors opened and then when they shut. I really really don;t know how I did it today, and little Jenny was such a trooper.

Yesterday I wondered if I should stay in Leeds a big part of me still wants to. I just need to change quite a few things at work and especially at home, here in this gigantic house, I need to move and fast. Lottery win would be helpful, just a few thousand.

Although you should be careful what you wish for I would love it if I could have a car again and a house with a garden and a room that I could make into a library. *sighs*

oh before I forget, one good thing happened today, my best friend Fin turned up with his little boy Max. We stopped talking a few months back for lots of reasons and I was so pleased to see him I burst into tears. And Max is such a cutey! He’s going to break all the girls hearts when he’s older.

Thank you fore reading

xxx

When someone is in trouble don’t stamp on them when they’re down

I feel like I’m stood still going round in circles while everything goes forward -me

“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.”
― Robert Frost

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere’s Fan

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
― Maya Angelou

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin

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“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it.
Life is beauty, admire it.
Life is a dream, realize it.
Life is a challenge, meet it.
Life is a duty, complete it.
Life is a game, play it.
Life is a promise, fulfill it.
Life is sorrow, overcome it.
Life is a song, sing it.
Life is a struggle, accept it.
Life is a tragedy, confront it.
Life is an adventure, dare it.
Life is luck, make it.
Life is too precious, do not destroy it.
Life is life, fight for it.”
― Mother Teresa

“We read to know that we are not alone.”
― William Nicholson

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

“For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone

“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go…”
― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen

“Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

“Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That’s part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads – at least that’s where I imagine it – there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in awhile, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live forever in your own private library.”
— Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

“You have to die a few times before you can really
live.”
— Charles Bukowski (The People Look Like Flowers at Last)

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said. A child or a book or a painting or a house or a wall built or a pair of shoes made. Or a garden planted. Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you’re there.

It doesn’t matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that’s like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime.”
— Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)

“Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and a richness to life that nothing else can bring.”
— Oscar Wilde

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”
― Dr. Seuss

“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”
― William W. Purkey

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

 “I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“A room without books is like a body without a soul.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero

 “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
― H. Jackson Brown Jr.

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Apple Inc.

And finally an article about an amazing man: Staying power

Thank you for reading

xxx

Being happy = more sales?

I’ve been told that a ‘happy’ workforce reflects the amount of sales you make/take. I’m not quite sure how this works because, I believe it’s down to lots of factors not just this. I think the main factor is the product and how much someone wants it and yes a rude/grumpy sales person can put you off your purchase but then would we ever eat if we didn’t go to the supermarket??? How many people can say that every time they go to the supermarket they are greeted with a happy bubbly person at the till? 9 times out of 10 you get your stuff flung down the till and expected to pack it at warp speed.

I was talking to the shop assistant in my local CO-OP after the guy was really rude to her and asked if she was ok. She said she had been on a customer service course recently and apparently if people went to say the Apple store they would be quite happy to wait up to two hours whereas in a little shop like that they get grumpy/annoyed if there are more than 4 people in the queue and they have to wait. She couldn’t work out what the difference was. It’s simple really, it’s the product and the whole desire thing, we believe we need a desire to have the apple product and is a luxury to wait for, the stuff we buy in the CO-OP is just a necessity and holds no luxury or desire.

 ‘Take a genuine interest in their work-life balance – To the extent that managers can offer some flexibility in schedules… and be understanding about family commitments, doctors’ appointments and so on – such sensitivity can be greatly appreciated.  Small gestures often make a big difference.’

see rest here

 

Some good articles on beating stress atwork and motivation

* stress and work

* 25 tips for customer care

Happy work force = happy customers

Provide a great environment to work in and look after your staff the way you expect them to look after your customers.

Why should they be nice to customers if they are getting a raw deal at work themselves? Keep them happy by providing what they need in terms of training (soft skills as well as technical knowledge) and genuine support with positive messages where appropriate and constructive feedback where development is needed.

*Use your whole brain

Whole Brain Thinking
‘Everything we do starts with our brain – the way you think, react to others, make
decisions, communicate, choose careers, manage people, and bring up your family – it all
depends on how you think!  And we all have preferred ways of thinking.
Some people focus on facts, others look for relationships. Some like detail, others prefer
the bigger picture. Whilst our personal ‘thinking preferences’ can sometimes help us in certain situations,
they can also inhibit our ability to function fully and effectively. So to improve our
effectiveness – both personally and organisationally – we need to more fully understand
our thinking preferences.’

  Positive immediate consequences

Rewards that come at the end of the period are too late to produce ongoing change. “Well done” at the end of the week has a short-term impact. Sustained change in behaviour comes when agents are told right through their shift … every minute of the day … precisely how they are performing and being rewarded for that performance.

When they see the positive and immediate consequences of what they do, the do it better; faster; more often.

  A team huddle at the start of the shift

A bit of fun can go a long way towards motivating staff and helps to energise. At the start of shifts a quick ‘huddle’, not only to pass on bits of key information but to also share a topical joke or ‘vote’ on a true/false, can really wake people up! Far more effective than email bulletins that are rarely read!

Find out what makes staff ‘tick’

Find out what motivates each employee, and make each individual feel that they have a part to play in the overallsuccess of the business. An annual employee satisfaction survey won’t even scratch the surface.
To find out what makes staff ‘tick’ on an ongoing basis you need to measure employee attitude at ‘key moments of truth’ for each employee.

The best way to do this is to use employee feedback software which can provide a regular opportunity for employees to ‘air their thoughts’ in a non-confrontational way. And to provide that information to team leaders so that they always have an up-to-date picture about how an employee feels.

*Motivation

Factor #2 – Identity. Humans are social creatures and driven by the need to “affiliate” with things they care about. Given that we spend most of our lifetime working, we are motivated by working for a company, department or team we feel proud to tell about friends and family about – a winning team. “How cool is it that Joe works for Facebook or Twitter?” We want to have an affiliation for the companies and teams we work with and the change they are making in the world. The second sub-factor related to identity is “title.” Some of us are motivated by that next promotion to get the title that we deserve and to be recognized for that. It will become part of a new identity we strive to embody.

*Manage stress

  • Taking responsibility for improving your physical and emotional well-being.
  • Avoiding pitfalls by identifying knee jerk habits and negative attitudes that add to the stress you experience at work.
  • Learning better communication skills to ease and improve your relationships with management and coworkers.

Thank you for reading

xxx

Top Tuesday 10

1* I have the problem to your solution!

2*it’s too bloody warm!

3* I think I sorted the problem with the boiler by reading the instructions go me!

4* I never thought I would miss someone as much as I do Maz until today. Love you loads lady!!!!

5* Take one day at a time. And remember to breathe

6* Coffee is the fuel needed to get through the day

7* Hiding in the cupboard dressed in black is a good way to scare someone

8*I get my muddled up words sometimes when speaking

9* I really can’t believe how quick this year is going. Can we slow down please???

10* reading is the best therapy

I really want to run across this floor after making so much noise and dust
I really want to run across this floor after making so much noise and dust

Thank you for reading

xxx

Time changes everyone

A mish mash of my week, or what I can remember anyway

Yet we forget them some get left behind. Humans are funny people. Some move forward, some get stuck in a perpetual loop and need a little push. Or if they do break free and bec

Sleep like a starfish

Merida: There are those who say that fate is something beyond our command. That our destinies are not our own. But I know better. Our fate lives within us. You only have to be brave enough to see it.

 Reconciliation comes from setting aside pride, admitting your mistakes, and forgiving completely

see link below for what this film can teach us
see link below for what this film can teach us

Lion king lessons 

Don’t stop believing!

Other than that just give up on trying to get people to listen. Funny I should say that as I haven’t been a good one. But that’s because I am scared of other people having problems and I wouldn’t be able to help them. I have not made the best of this ‘being single’ malarcky. I shouldn’t be thinking about it, I haven’t but it’s 3 years since Tw*t-face broke my heart.

It’s my day off and I can’t relax. Yesterday was horrible. Too much to do and by time we were finished, I hadn’t realised the time and while everyone left I sat on the cupboard and cried. I hadn’t eaten all day apart from two packs of munchies, and because of that I had a dizzy spell and thought I was going to faint. As usual young Jenny came back from unloading the rubbish and looked after me. I hate hormones. I need to start eating properly again to get the balance back.

I was going to my friend Caroline’s and had nearly called off at the last minute but was so glad I didn’t. It’s good to see how far she has come and what an amazing cook! I had some of the cake she made for breakfast with a coffee 🙂 It’s funny, everyone thinks you need to show others how much you care by spending loads of money. You really don’t. Just a few drinks (diet cola for me and lots of food and chatting. And yes Jane I did listen once they got a word in :). And Caroline and Steff told me what to be eating as well 🙂 I may have to make excuses and go over more often.

It’s funny how time can change people. Granted it doesn’t change some, aka my Dad. I have been through things these last few years that I’ve never thought possible. And now some people can’t forgive me for trying to get back on track after things that have been said or have done which I’ve regretted and now look at me as if I’m dirt. If they would let me talk to them, they’d know that I’ve been trying to tell them for months was really something important, but of course I’m Helen I’m mean’t to be trodden on.

You can’t change the past you can’t take back how you reacted, you can’t take back what you said, and if people aren’t willing to stick by you then perhaps its time to move on. It’s really sad to know people come in and out of your life. That relationships get broken and can’t be mended. It’s a shame people don’t talk face to face any more and rely on texts/emails to get across the message. Believe me it’s not pleasant. I admit I’ve ranted a few times myself, but have refused to do it any more. If it’s important ring me,  my sister does it everyday and I really like the fact she feels she can do this, or come and see me. I hate texting when it’s important I also hate when people use the phones while sitting with me because that’s was the ex was doing and turns out he was talking to his ‘new love’. I’ve tried telling people it’s not them I don’t trust it just makes me uneasy and now it’s their turn, and I will listen however much it hurts.

Gallery of stuff from FB.

Keep your head up; you are so much better than you believe… I promise!

Don’t judge. Behind every person, there’s always a reason why they are the way they are.

Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated. -Confucius

Surround yourself with positive people who will support you during your bad days, not just your good days.

Twitter: 

@minionsinmyhead8m I mispronounced #NeilGaiman’s name on the phone n Helen @isfromupnorth thought I said Neil Diamond. Okaaay then…

OMG! why does bad tv suck you in??? Years ago it was Sunset Beach on channel5 (that’s a whole other blog) I’m sat glued to Once Upon a Time again on Channel5. and I’m positively glued. I love anything to do with magic or odd worlds, like Willow, Harry Potter, Practical Magic (I’m currently reading the book) and The chronicles of Narnia and I now have the BBC boxset. squeeellllssssss!!!

Today I started clearing out stuff, again, but this time I thought I’d clear stuff out belonging tot he time I lived with my ex. It’s been 3 years now and I keep finding little things that trigger memories and I just have to get rid, for a fresh start, again. I went into TK Maxx to day and had to walk out again as it reminded me of him and made me feel sick. I know it sounds stupid, but I’ve been at a low point recently and feel susceptible to these things and also stressful situations aren’t helping. I hadn’t even thought about him until all this kicked off with my Dad and I had a visit up north and was told things I had blocked out. Weird that.

So into the charity bag went some stuff I had bought years ago which I hadn’t used for a while but could remember when I got it, and in it went.  I also smashed up two cups and what fun that was. On Thursday some bags and furniture will be collected for charity and what a relief that would be. I don’t think I sorted through stuff when I first left and then moved twice and then just kept adding. Mainly because I am in a large house and you can fill rooms quite quickly when things are ‘out of sight, out of mind’ you forget their there and then one day you have to face them. It’s now a big a struggle as it was back then.

So my advice to you. Don’t shut down, don’t shut the world out because you think you’re doing someone a favour. Don’t let things build up and build up because like me you’ll end up with many demons who will keep coming back and biting you firmly in your squishy arse.

and on that note I leave you as I sit in shock at the ending of Once Upon a Time. *shocked face*

Thank you for reading

xxx