‘I had the time of my life………’

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I’m feeling rather unsettled. Life is good. It’s better then expected and I have this feeling which I have from being little that something is going to blow up in my face. Sounds daft and negative, but when things were good at home (sorry Mum’s) When I was growing up it mean’t that we were heading for a storm with my Dad and his moods (sorry, illnesses) Unfortunately it’s something that I can’t shift how ever hard I try. I’ll be floating along happy as a bee, then wallop, this sinking feeling starts and then I get worried. I feel so silly and know this is ridiculous because if anything did go wrong I think I’m much stronger to handle it then I was last year or year before and that’s thanks to all my friends and family who have stuck by me this last 3 years. I love you all loads and am so grateful, I don’t think I could ever repay you.

Today I had a fantastic day. I met up with an old friend had a good natter and amazing food and I think Caroline is an amazing person and I’m so grateful to have her in my life. We nattered so long we ended up ordering food late and then went off for cake. I did want to go to a book launch but was having such a fab time I didn’t care plus we couldn’t find it love you Caz.

So to the next two weeks I’m away from work and have the weekend almost full. I’m apprehensive yet excited. These last few months have been really stressful and part of it caused by someone who will never change however much I want him to. It’s his loss. Like Caroline says I’m getting stronger and although ‘little helen’ might still get scared that’s ok as what’s happening now is so much more important.

Now back to Dirty Dancing 🙂

Thank you for reading

xxxx

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