On Friday it was my Sister’s birthday. Originally the plan was I just had the day off and I was planning to meet her in York or something But then a few weeks back I told her about the LEGO shop opening in Leeds and she said she wanted to go. Thinking it was too late to rearrange the weekend I said to visit but she’d be on her own on the Saturday. Bad host I know. But in one way I think it did her good.
My Sister has had health problems from such a young age (sorry for spilling beans sis) and this sort of thing can really knock your confidence. And in a way I was a second mum to her. As long as I can rememebr my Mum has had health problems and I would help her out on a morning if she was ill. Then when Jane started junior school (I think) started having health problems. I remember coming home from school one day and sitting reading a book to her. From that moment I always helped to look after her and probably became to over protective and that’s why we didn’t get on.
Growing up we had to share a bedroom. Always trying to split it in half and always fighting over music. It wasn’t that bad really, but it wan;t until I left home at the age of 19 that we began to become close and then in the last three years we’ve become closer still. She’s the one, apart from Rachel, who I tell the most to. Jane and I talk almost everyday and I always ring her to let off steam at the end of the day if I need a rant. I wonder if she knows how much I appreciate this???
At school I was always envious of Jane’s intelligence and ability to grasp school work where I struggled. She used to be able to read up on the subject the night before and pass the next day no problem, whereas it would take me ages. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned all this before but it’s worth it again. She will tell you that the distinction for my dissertation for my HND is hers. I had to decipher Karl Marx, Freud and Semiotics and she helped. I went home one day and went ‘Read this I can’t understand it’ and she did and wrote it out for me to understand it. Thank you sis.
I wanted this weekend to be perfect, because for several reasons we’ve both been through a lot this last few years and home life for Mum and Jane hasn’t been great and I feel bad because I escaped it over 14 years ago. I had to for my sanity and because someone told me I wouldn’t go far and not get to uni. Proved them wrong didn’t I. We both don’t have much money and I wanted her birthday to be good and yesterday I wanted to be perfect. I wanted to bake a cake, but forgot the greaseproof paper, decided to go get bun cases only to lose the tins and then fall up the stairs to my house in my new shoes as they were slightly too big, causing the bag to split and everything tumble out once I managed to get in the house.
I wanted to make a nice dinner, but Jane only like mash and I couldn’t be bothered to make mash and then I had beef gravy rather than chicken, which from a good source told me it was nice anyway. So as we were going to book club in my favourite pub in Leeds and they serve amazing food and thought that would make up for it. I wanted to show Jane what makes me happy and what book club is like. Except the chef had gone home and we ended up in MacDonalds. Sorry Sis.
However she did enjoy book club even though she didn’t read the book and hopefully that will give her inspiration to go to one or to pop back to Leeds once in a blue moon and go with me.
So thank you little sis for a fab weekend and once again sorry for the mishaps and I miss your company. You always know what to say and thank you for listening. I liked what you said, ‘nothing has to be perfect we had a laugh didn’t we?’
I am glad we are so close now.
Thank you for reading