Hello Weekend!

So it’s Saturday. I’ve been up since 7:30. The bacon and tomatoes are currently sizzling in the pan. I have a paper and I have cleaned the kitchen. A good start so far.

I rarely get Saturdays off,  Let me explain. When I started this job, an agreement (not an official one, more like a favour thing) was put in place that I worked Saturdays, but could have them off if requested. Since the age of 19 I have always worked Saturdays, and it’s not bothered me as going shopping and queuing for ages doesn’t thrill me. I like going shopping but prefer to do it at the quieter times. The only thing is if I have Saturdays off I would have to work 5 days straight and doing the work I do, can be quite demanding and it’s good to have a break midweek.

Although I feel like I should be doing something special, I’m off into the attic bedroom to sort out my stuff and see what I can get rid of. then this afternoon it’s to write-up the review  for bookclub challenge and catch up on some reading.

Oh and if you hadn’t gathered from yesterday I have been doing a lot of blogs in the last 24 hours. I’ve had too much to think about and needed to get it out of my system. All this talk of moving is getting me down. I worked out, since I’ve left home 14 years ago I’ve moved about 5 times I think. That’s a lot of moving. And all your stuff in boxes is sad.

In the last year, it’s been very up and down for me. Yes I maybe sounding melodramatic but I’ve had so much to think about and feeling very sorry for myself, especially when I think something is going well and then all of a sudden everything turns sour. Take the quote below;

“Don’t push away the people who truly care about you, because one day, you will push them away, and they won’t come back.”

I kept getting warned by this and although I did my best to fix this I ruined  some good friendships and lost a fantastic job opportunity. I’ve never been one for believing in myself and last year got so scared of the situation I was in and finding that I was making mistakes left right and centre, felt I was no good at being ‘Helen’ Or doing my job. The biggest thing that’s been effecting me is lack of money and not being able to own and drive a car. How silly does that sound that I feel like a failure because I can’t own a car. That’s why I screwed up my best opportunity to progress in a job.

Quite clearly I’ve lost the power to listen to good advice and to trust in myself. I need to find this again I had it briefly once.

I’ll update again later as I need to start the sorting. bye for now and…

12:18pm

I’ve been sorting the attic room out for about 2-3 hours and didn’t realise how much crap I had. I had to put some music on and have listened to all the Queen albums in the platinum collection and had a good screech and cleared my head and realised I have way to much stuff. Did I mention that already?? These are the songs that reflect me at the moment oh and the third one is in there because it’s one of my favourites, not because I want to save someone from the universe.

Queen – Living on my own

‘Dee do dee do day
Dee do dee do dee do dee do day ohSometimes I feel I’m gonna break down and cry, so lonely
Nowhere to go, nothing to do with my time
I get lonely, so lonely, living on my own.Sometimes I feel I’m always walking too fast, so lonely
And everything is coming down on me, down on me, I go crazy
Oh so crazy, living on my own.Dee do de de, dee do de de
I don’t have no time for no monkey business
Dee do de de, dee do de de
I get so lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, yeah
Got to be some good times aheadSometimes I feel nobody gives me no warning
Find my head is always up in the clouds in a dreamworld
It’s not easy, living on my own, my own, my own

Dee do de de (lonely), dee do de de (lonely)
I don’t have no time for no monkey business
Dee do de de, dee do de de
I get so lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, yeah
Got to be some good times ahead

C’mon baby

Dee do de de, dee do de de
I don’t have no time for no monkey business
Dee do de de, dee do de de
I get so lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, yeah
Got to be some good times ahead

Yeah baby
Di di di di
Dibby dibby du-wop du-wop
yeah y-y-y-y-y-y-ow-yeah
Living on my own, living on my own
Living on my own, living on my own, wooh
da, day, day, day, day
di, di, di, di, di, di, di
Be-dop, be-dop, be-dop, be-dop
Be-dop, be-dop, be-dop, be-dop
Be-dop, be-dop, be-dop, be-dop
Woh!’

Queen- The show must go on

‘Empty spaces – what are we living for?
Abandoned places – I guess we know the score..
On and on!
Does anybody know what we are looking for?

Another hero – another mindless crime.
Behind the curtain, in the pantomime.
Hold the line!
Does anybody want to take it anymore?
The Show must go on!
The Show must go on!Yeah!
Inside my heart is breaking,
My make-up may be flaking,
But my smile, still, stays on!

Whatever happens, I’ll leave it all to chance.
Another heartache – another failed romance.
On and on…
Does anybody know what we are living for?
I guess i’m learning
I must be warmer now..
I’ll soon be turning, round the corner now.
Outside the dawn is breaking,
But inside in the dark I’m aching to be free!

The Show must go on!
The Show must go on! Yeah,yeah!
Ooh! Inside my heart is breaking!
My make-up may be flaking…
But my smile, still, stays on!
Yeah! oh oh oh

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies,
Fairy tales of yesterday, will grow but never die,
I can fly, my friends!

The Show must go on! Yeah!
The Show must go on!
I’ll face it with a grin!
I’m never giving in!
On with the show!

(Also a good version in one of my favourite film Moulin Rouge)

I looked up its meaning as I felt it’s something to keep anyone going and found this by someone

‘This being the VERY LAST song recorded on an album while Freddie Mercury is extremely moving. I feel he’s really talking to all the world about his hardships and connecting to other’s hardships by saying that life is a like a show, and although things might not go like we planned it, the show must go on. The fact that these were his last days, he kept his head high and never backed down from what he loved.’
Read more at http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/13169/#ZrsaJ7KqsuhDBJ8v.99

And finally a mention to one of my favourites:

‘Flash – a-ah – saviour of the universe
Flash – a-ah – he’ll save everyone of us
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Flash – a-ah – he’s a miracle
Flash – a-ah – king of the impossible’

59388
I love this film!!!
Oh why did they stop doing these????
Oh why did they stop doing these????
My old stereo I've had for almost 16 years
My old stereo I’ve had for almost 16 years
my scissors from when I was a child
my scissors from when I was a child
one end...
one end…
..other end
..other end
finished. stuff on left is unwanted stuff on right is to keep (for the moment)
finished. stuff on left is unwanted stuff on right is to keep (for the moment)
just empty boxes now
just empty boxes now
My first ever contact sheet!
My first ever contact sheet!
Bacon sandwiches
Bacon sandwiches
mmmm really??
mmmm really??

So hard work is done now for the afternoon to do what I want to do and it appears to be snowing outside. Mumford and Sons are on TV on The Brit Awards (repeat) and singing ‘I will Wait for you’. This is one of my favourite bands/musicians and would love to see them live. Maybe one day.

I can’t believe I’m half-way through my three days off. Pulls sad face. I want it to slow down. I still have too much to do and it’s all running away from me!

17:06

I just got back from an unexpected viewing in LS17. And it was perfect. Nice large house, clean, well kept, good facilities and lovely people. Downside, slightly higher rent but all bills included and wanting £600 upfront. Ouch!

When I left I wanted to burst into tears, Luckily the trip didn’t cost me anything and saw some interesting shops. Like a little hardware store. It was like stepping back in time to my childhood, my childhood best friend’s Dad had one and we used to visit it after school. It was packed with everything.

Hardware store in LS17
Hardware store in LS17

So I’m back home and having a coffee and doing the bad thing of emotional eating and eating chocolate. I switched the TV on and guess what’s on? Block Busters with Bob Holness. I used to love this as a kid and this cracked me up……

‘What is the garden creature with…..’  In buzzes Vicky….’Seal?’ Bob ‘Seal?’ Vicky ‘Yes seal’ Bob ‘Er,No’ Continues with the rest of the question and the other girl (playing on her own and wins by the way) buzzes in and says ‘Slug?’ Bob’Yes that’s right!

I think she had a ‘Helen’ moment, *giggles*

I am now watching Supermarket Sweep and it looks so dated. I love the fact that it’s like a school master congratulating his school children for getting things right or running off to get the ‘stickered’ item. ‘It sounds about right, and it is! Well done’ 

Supermarket sweep
Supermarket sweep
Supermarket sweep
Supermarket sweep

So after that mini adventure I shall try get back to my review for Book club and settle down for the evening and read more of The Book Thief.

Thank you for reading

xxx

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