Last day of the holiday :(

I feel like I’m back at school and wishing it was the beginning of the holidays again. I think it’s the weather, It’s warm but damp and drizzly and I’ve felt low today and the fact Mum went back up north yesterday and I came back to reality with a thump.

This morning I had an eye test and was dreading it. I hate wearing glasses. I got told I was mean’t to use them for reading and computers or anything to do with concentrating. Turns out I don’t and could get away with not wearing them but the muscles in my eyes would get tired and That’s not a nice feeling. I think that’s one of the reasons I’ve had problems reading. I hate wearing glasses. I have not worn them for 29 odd years and now to have to wear them because I use the computer too much is so frustrating. I hate anything on my face! Anyway the optician said I needed a weaker prescription and my distance is fine it’s just anything up close. Fab! There’s me going in trying to not spend over £100 with my voucher for the test at £10 and I come out with a pair of frames at £25 total cost £35! They are red and make me look like a teacher. I might find when I get them back next week they’re actually Granny glasses  But I don’t care because I only need them to keep my eyes fresh. I shall start drinking more water as well and cut down on the sugary stuff and start doing sit-ups! I also tried to get rid of some cd’s and got as I expected £2.50. At least that goes to the coffee fund.

So Christmas is coming. I’m not looking forward to it. I don’t know what to expect for the future and part of me is really scared about it as I expected to be married, kids and a house. I’m not. I’m almost a completely different ‘Helen’ to what I was 2 years ago and again 10 years ago. Part of me likes her, part of me thinks, ‘what is she for?’ But I have new things to do. I get my knee checked out next week. I’m still planning on entering races next year even if I have to walk them!!! But I need to take each day as it comes. Make sure I get a lot of reading,writing and exercise done.  And to stop panicking what I look like now I’m getting on a bit. I just realised my coat is way to big but it’ll do for work and my shoes look scruffy so have gone with fashion and bought some canvas shoes. No not Flossy’s but Lee Cooper’s at just £8. They’re juniors apparently (LOL) I just wish they had them in red.

I’m now going to make lunch, think it’s grated cheese and carrot with ham in a bowl served with a white bread bun, like we used to have as kids. I did buy pizza and pasta and stuff from Morrisons and I do have salad and quiche for work tomorrow, but needed a home comfort I think. Funny how we have these things to make us feel better.

Thank you for reading


this is what made me write today


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