Monthly Archives: November 2012

Mixtape: Helen’s Tape by @isfromupnorth

Leeds Playlist

‘Helen’s Tape’ and ‘NOW 11’ were my first ever tapes.

Helen's Tape and NOW 11

My Aunt gave them to me and said ‘Play them really loudly to annoy your father’ 😀

My Aunt is my Mum’s youngest sister and has always been in to 80’s and rock music and she influenced my taste, so these tapes mean a lot to me. They are both from 1988, and if I could get them on cd now I would be amazed! Here’s Helen’s Tape recreated on Spotify:

Tracklistings:

Side A

  1. T’Pau – China In Your Hand
  2. Heart – Alone
  3. Kiss – Crazy Crazy Nights
  4. Billy Idol – Mony Mony
  5. Whitesnake – Here I Go Again
  6. The Alarm – Rain In The Summertime
  7. Pet Shop Boys – Rent
  8. The Communards – Never Can Say Goodbye
  9. Wet Wet Wet – Sweet Little Mystery
  10. Curiosity Killed The Cat – Misfit
  11. Los Lobos – La Bamba
  12. Fat Boys – Wipeout

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Turn back the clock

Johnny Hates Jazz Turn Back The Clock Lyrics

Songwriters:
DAVID, HAL/HAMPTON, PAUL
Another day is ended
And I still can’t sleep
Remembering my yesterdays

I begin to weep
If I could have it over
Live my life again
I wouldn’t change a single day

CHORUS:
I wish that I could turn back the clock
Bring the wheels of time to a stop
Back to the days when life was so much better

Lying here in silence
Picture in my hand
Of a boy I still resemble
But I no longer understand
And as the tears run freely
How I realise they were the best years of my life

Why can’t I turn back the clock
Bring the wheels of time to a stop
Back to the days
Oh no no
I remember when
Life was so good
I’d go back if I could
Oh oh I wouldn’t change a single day
Don’t let the memories slip away
I wouldn’t change a single day
Don’t let the memories slip away

This song is on one of my mix tapes and it’s funny because the other night in the pub my friend and I were discussing the fact if we had a time machine what would we do? She said she would talk to her younger self and tell her to do something that she regrets she didn’t do. Part of me wants to go back and change things. Hoping it would fix things, and not make the mistakes I perhaps might not have done so many courses, or to have made certain decisions sooner and that might have mean’t to I’d be in a completely different place to what I am now. But then I thought would I? I’m now finding my feet. Like my friend said discovering who I am and what I can do. It’s took a long time to start ‘liking’ and ‘loving’ the person who I am now and the biggest thing to start ‘forgiving’ myself because I have been so angry at myself for too long, that it’s not been healthy. Yes there’s lots of things I would change, I’m not where I want to be personally but I have a fantastic job. I’m just missing the relationship and family bit. What I want most at the moment though is a car and my knee to fix. One is free and the other costs money and is bad for the environment. If you could change things but still meet the same people and they still be the same people then I’d be first in line. But like we discussed the other night, I’m quite proud of who I am becoming and what I’ve achieved. I;ve passed my driving test for the first time, I’ve joined bookclubs this year and gone on my own to meet new people and joined in the discussions. I’ve been out of photography meet-ups and done a writing course. My biggest and proudest moment, apart from the 3-10ks ran this year was getting my personal best at York this year 58mins 14 secs doing a 10k run!!
I’ve also had friends come back into my life and I’m sure as hell not going to lose them again. Relationships in whatever form take a lot of work. And when one side is in crisis we need to be there for them with a hug, a slice of cake and a gigantic smile, as a smile can make everyone feel better.
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So on my day off I’ve attempted to clean up, I’ve put my tree up, which now looks slightly silly with no decorations up, so tomorrow will be hunting for paper-chains.
And it’s typical that on my day off I’m feeling really shitty because I forgot to take my pill (it’s my ‘lady’ pill :)) and because it was affected by the painkillers last month I’ve forgotten how hormones can make you crumple, and you use the face wash for shampoo and wonder why the stereo remote isn’t turning the music down because you’re actually using the tv remote  and feeling slightly crappy and hormonal and not enough sleep. Yes I know I should be used to this by now but for some reason I’m having a ‘moment’ and Like my sister says I look like  a grumpy panda.

Thank you for reading
xxx

The History Boys by Alan Bennett

This is the last read for one of my book-club’s and the last book-club of 2012. *sobs quietly*. Book-club is amazing, it’s a magical place where everyone gathers and discusses ‘the chosen one’. Sometimes people haven’t read it for several reasons, other times it can create heated debates or as in The White Swan discuss a TV show (Sunset Beach. What you’ve never heard of it?!? it was channel 5’s main soap. Google it, it’ll blow your mind!) because I thought a book reminded me of the set – up. So here’s my first attempt at a book review. And thank you to the three I go to, I’ve had a fantastic year!

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The History Boys -Alan Bennett

“A play of depth as well as dazzle, intensely moving as well as thought-provoking and funny.” The Daily Telegraph

An unruly bunch of bright, funny sixth-form (or senior) boys in a British boys’ school are, as such boys will be, in pursuit of sex, sport, and a place at a good university, generally in that order. In all their efforts, they are helped and hindered, enlightened and bemused, by a maverick English teacher who seeks to broaden their horizons in sometimes undefined ways, and a young history teacher who questions the methods, as well as the aim, of their schooling. In The History Boys, Alan Bennett evokes the special period and place that the sixth form represents in an English boy’s life. In doing so, he raises–with gentle wit and pitch-perfect command of character–not only universal questions about the nature of history and how it is taught but also questions about the purpose of education today.”

Goodreads

Quote from the film “The best moments in reading are when you come across something – a thought, a feeling, a way of looking at things – which you had thought special and particular to you. And now, here it is, set down by someone else, a person you have never met, someone even who is long dead. And it is as if a hand has come out, and taken yours”

Goodreads

This is the second of two plays read at book-club and I think It’s quite interesting and different reading a play, I think it makes you work harder as things aren’t set out so that it’s a continuous read. The scene is described then it’s followed by dialogue of the characters, each line starting with the names of the characters.

The main problem I had with this book was trying to remember who was who. Perhaps if the word ‘Mr’ in front of the male teachers I might have found it easier.  The other thing that threw me was the four pages where they talk in French  I tried to translate it but couldn’t get the jist of it. I got a bit annoyed at myself for not being able to remember French from school or the fact that the amazing app I downloaded helped me to translate it but I lost patience trying to copy it down so I ended up skipping that bit.

I didn’t pick up on who was meant to be the lead character in this or whether all of them were. But surely in a play as well as a story someone should stand out? I got very confused to who was teacher and who was boy. Also with the setting, the places it was set in a sixth form in Sheffield but I didn’t really pick up on the setting either. I knew they were in a classroom but wasn’t sure on the type or style. Although I did give a shout of ‘hooray’ when Durham was mentioned and instantly thought of home.

When reading this I did like the fact that it was about a bunch of boys sometimes being idiotic and in some cases winding up their teacher(s) and I liked  the way we get to find out expressions with the subtle hints of ‘says (doubtfully)’ and the one I liked ‘(mimes being mystified)’ . Like I said before it just took me a few attempts to grasp who was who and it was made worse when the two teachers were put together in a class and then I was completely lost. I did like the relationship between the characters but missed the plot completely. I wasn’t quite sure what it was about and the it jumped to a few years down the line and left me thinking ‘how did I miss that’. I did enjoy reading it although it doesn’t sound like it or perhaps reading plays aren’t for me and I should watch the film and do my usual when a book turns into a film or I discuss the book with someone else, ‘oh, so that’s what it was meant to mean, silly me.’

Overall I really enjoyed it, I like the writing style just not the structure, I think it lacked something that didn’t quite bring it together and so I  look forward to seeing the film and it answering some questions.

‘Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, And auld lang syne? ‘

I’ve probably misunderstood this song/poem, but there’s something about this time of year which sometimes makes me think of all the people I’ve lost and the people that are in my life now. I’m actually dreading the end of this year, as it means I’m closer to being another year older and haven’t achieved what I’d wanted to. But and it’s a big one, I think I’ve gained so much more. My relationship with my Sister is stronger and I’ve sort of begun to understand my Dad a little. We had a great time in Scarborough this year. And my Mum is my rock, even at the age of 32!

This year I have lost a few friendships, not sure how and gained some unexpected ones that I’m very grateful for. I’ve also got a very strong relationship with a certain young lady who I lost contact with at one point and is my inspiration and wish I lived closer to share cake and coffee with her.

I’ve also been re-acquainted with old family and gained new, who I adore to bits and feel so lucky to have them back in my life. It’s been great visiting Sherburn again and Aunt Lindy I’ve been meaning to write you a letter for ages I just keep getting caught up in things!! Plan for next year is visit up north more!!

So Christmas and the New Year is a time to reflect. Twitter has showed me there’s so much out there and we can be connected by the tiniest thing and open up new worlds and meet amazing people and new opportunities. I’ve been able to connect to people about running, and books and found out about a new writing course which was just down the road from where I live! This year I have done 3 -10ks, a writing course and from that I had been asked to do a radio production course and fell in love with Bookclub.

Next year I hope to do some races and I think like with my photography, like Victoria Pendelton said on Strictly Come Dancing tonight  ‘We all need to step out of our comfort zone once in a while’ . I think I’ve been doing this without realising it but next year I need to make more of an effort, especially with my photography and writing and just life in general.

Oh and one last thing, Hugs, They’re my favourite. It means a lot when someone hugs me. It’s not for everyone, but it lets me know you care and sometimes if you’re feeling down an unexpected one works a treat! check this link, although I think he got banned? 🙂 http://www.freehugscampaign.org/

So thank you to everyone. I love you all, and thank you for being a part of my life, however often we chat. x

Thank you for reading

xxx

A trip down memory lane

I’m sat here listening to two old tapes that apparently are 24 years old!!! I thought I was given them when I was about 11/12 but not sure as the one of the tapes has a date on them. I can’t remember if they were a birthday present or whether they were just sent to me in the post.  All I can remember is a note saying ‘Play these as loud as you can to annoy your Dad’.

I’ll get killed for saying it but it’s my fondest memory and these are my most treasured possessions and they still work!!! These led to me starting to collect the ‘Now Series’ I think I got one every Christmas and if I saved up my pocket money another few during the year. I really can’t wait until Christmas and get back to Mum’s to find the rest of the tapes!!!

The one’s I’ve been listening to I found I thought I had ‘accidently’ recorded over a few bits. I think one has the Neighbours theme tune on one but recently found out I hadn’t, it was such a relief!  http://youtu.be/JAIOzM7SsMo

The reason for the trip down memory lane came about because when I went for the bus I saw a man with a Sony tape walkman, clipped to his belt and wearing the headphones that had a metal band and soft pads. I remember having a black one when I was younger and now I use my Ipod shuffle. But listening to the tapes and that slight ‘fuzzy’ noise has given me a warm feeling.

I still have a stereo with a tape deck and a portable stereo with a cassette which I’ve had since I was 16! I don’t know if it’s classed as a ghetto blaster.

Also the thing with tapes, they have two sides and you have to turn it over to continue. And when you recorded a tape and didn’t quite judge it right and cut half the song off!

When we were little we had a lot of books which came with tapes. They were red I think that went with the Disney ones. I also I remember collecting a series of magazines and tapes and the one that really, really scared me was ‘The monster in the Labyrinth’. But I loved it. I’ve just found a blog with all the audio stories and you can listen to them!!! http://wp.me/PEW3v-2 Apparently this was part 14.

Check this link and it does the ‘ping’ or ‘twinkle’ to change the page. completely forgot about that! 

Then there was the Christmas one with my favourite Christmas hym/songs. Makes me smile everytime I hear it!

http://youtu.be/5H0tyzUQ4rM

After finding all this I feel like Christmas has come early!!!!

Thank you for reading

xxx

Last day of the holiday :(

I feel like I’m back at school and wishing it was the beginning of the holidays again. I think it’s the weather, It’s warm but damp and drizzly and I’ve felt low today and the fact Mum went back up north yesterday and I came back to reality with a thump.

This morning I had an eye test and was dreading it. I hate wearing glasses. I got told I was mean’t to use them for reading and computers or anything to do with concentrating. Turns out I don’t and could get away with not wearing them but the muscles in my eyes would get tired and That’s not a nice feeling. I think that’s one of the reasons I’ve had problems reading. I hate wearing glasses. I have not worn them for 29 odd years and now to have to wear them because I use the computer too much is so frustrating. I hate anything on my face! Anyway the optician said I needed a weaker prescription and my distance is fine it’s just anything up close. Fab! There’s me going in trying to not spend over £100 with my voucher for the test at £10 and I come out with a pair of frames at £25 total cost £35! They are red and make me look like a teacher. I might find when I get them back next week they’re actually Granny glasses  But I don’t care because I only need them to keep my eyes fresh. I shall start drinking more water as well and cut down on the sugary stuff and start doing sit-ups! I also tried to get rid of some cd’s and got as I expected £2.50. At least that goes to the coffee fund.

So Christmas is coming. I’m not looking forward to it. I don’t know what to expect for the future and part of me is really scared about it as I expected to be married, kids and a house. I’m not. I’m almost a completely different ‘Helen’ to what I was 2 years ago and again 10 years ago. Part of me likes her, part of me thinks, ‘what is she for?’ But I have new things to do. I get my knee checked out next week. I’m still planning on entering races next year even if I have to walk them!!! But I need to take each day as it comes. Make sure I get a lot of reading,writing and exercise done.  And to stop panicking what I look like now I’m getting on a bit. I just realised my coat is way to big but it’ll do for work and my shoes look scruffy so have gone with fashion and bought some canvas shoes. No not Flossy’s but Lee Cooper’s at just £8. They’re juniors apparently (LOL) I just wish they had them in red.

I’m now going to make lunch, think it’s grated cheese and carrot with ham in a bowl served with a white bread bun, like we used to have as kids. I did buy pizza and pasta and stuff from Morrisons and I do have salad and quiche for work tomorrow, but needed a home comfort I think. Funny how we have these things to make us feel better.

Thank you for reading

xxx

this is what made me write today http://wp.me/2DKLB

Home Sweet Home

Cleaning done. Tea done. Just had left over cold mince beef pie and hot veg. Couldn’t bear to  let it go to waste. It reminded me of having a mince beef roll that M&S used to sell years ago and stopped selling. We used to get it from the one in Durham and I loved it. Other things I love from home are cornbeef pie. My Mum was taught by my Grandma as my Dad is a fussy eater. I love cornbeef pie and chips, my Grandma used to cut the potatoes with a  crinkly cutter. She also used to make chocolate fairy cakes for my sister and I and plain for my Dad. I also love cornbeef hotpot with bread for dipping, just heaven!.

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cold pie and veg!

I’ve just been cleaning, it’s my way of ‘sorting my head out’ along with running, and thinking about the fact I’m back at work on Wednesday and there’s not long until end of the year. I’ve still some presents to buy for Xmas and really can’t be fussed. Part of me doesn’t want to stick the decorations up but another thinks I should make the effort and decorate the whole living room. food for thought.

I’m also sorting out my belongings, I just found an art folder in the cellar full of artwork from school-uni. I was ready to tear it up and get rid of it then I stopped and though no. It’s part of me I may think it’s rubbish but I should keep it. Then I found a skeleton drawing which I quite clearly was mean’t to draw the whole thing but didn’t do the size correct or something and part of me thought, I want that on the wall. So next trip to Ikea I’m getting a frame for it.

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The skeleton with legs chopped off at the knees
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think this was to do with angles

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So I need to make a list. I need to make a plan. I need to think what’s important, Remember to catch up with old friends and family once in a while. Spend the day in pyjamas or go for a walk. Keep notebooks with me at all time to write down what I see. To take a camera with me or make sure the phone is charged to capture those things that catches my eye for whatever reason but the first one is to get the kettle on and catch up on some reading.

But I’ll leave you with this

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling
Thank you for reading
xxx